Knots Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old time's sake. He hires a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's going at it as best as he can for a guy his age. The old sailor asks, "How am I doing?" The prostitute replies, "Well, sailor, you're doing about three knots." "Three knots?" he replies, "What's that supposed to mean?" She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back."

George represented his country in wrestling at the Olympics and did really well…made his way right to the gold medal round. To win the gold, all he had to do was fight a large Russian guy (a real bear at 300lbs of muscle). The fight was fierce. The Russian had George tied in knots. It was so painful that most people, including George’s trainers couldn’t even watch.
All of a sudden George’s trainers heard the crowd yelling GEORGE GEORGE GEORGE. When they turned around there was the Russion knocked out on the mat, and George was running towards them with a gold medal around his neck. The trainers yelled, GEORGE WHAT HAPPENED, HE HAD YOU.
Didn’t he though smirked George with a grin. I though he had me to cos’ I was all tied up in knots. But then out of the corner of my eye I spotted a big set of n*ts (ie. testicals). I was able to jerk up and give them a big chomp.
GEEZE, said George, IT’S FUNNY THE STRENGTH YOU GET WHEN YOU CHEW YOUR OWN N*TS