Jason Jokes / Recent Jokes
Jason walks in to a restroom to pee and as he walks up to the toilet he sees a man standing in front of the urinal that appears to have no arms.
The guy with no arms says to Jason, hey buddy can you help me pee?
Jason thinks to himself this is really weird, but figures that he is a pretty nice guy and is willing to help this guy out.
Then Jason unzips the mans pants and tells the guy to try and shake it out...the guy tries but is unsuccessful.
So Jason pulls the mans penis out of his pants and as he is holding the mans dick he sees all these sores and bumps on the mans penis.
After the man is done peeing, Jason helps him zip up his pants and then ask the guy, hey buddy what was all those marks and sores all over your dick?
Thats when the guy pulls his arms up out of his shirt and says, I dont know, but I sure aint touching it!!!
Jason goes to the local novelty shop and finds a pair of x-ray glasses. He checks them out, and isn't fully convinced, but as usual, the store assistant comes along and closes the deal.
On his way home, Jason puts on his new x-ray glasses and, bingo! He sees everyone in the street naked. He takes them off for a moment, and everyone has their clothes on. Puts the glasses back on...everyone is naked! "Cool!"
As he arrives back home, he is eager to show his new toy to his wife, Ginger, but can't find her. He goes up to the bedroom and finds his wife and the postman, naked in bed. He takes his glasses off, and the two are still naked. He puts them back on, and they are still naked.
"Damn," Jason says. "I just paid fifty bucks for these and they're already broken!"
[email protected] swears this really happened to him...
OK. Here goes. I was 17, and had mentioned to my father that I was thinking
of buying a rubber boat for use as a scuba platform. My father managed to
get me one from the F.A.A. where he worked. (Don't ask, I never did).
What he brought me was one of those Air Force survival rafts that they issue
to bomber crews with up to 10 men. I couldn't wait to test it, so I called
Jason, and told him to come on over. I took the back seat out of my VW bug,
and laid the seat back down. This makes a VW bug kind of like a hatch back
without the hatch. Jason got over to my place, just as our girlfriends showed
up. They had come over to see if we wanted to go swimming. I crammed the
raft, and both girls in the back of the VW (it was really tight), and Jason
in the passenger seat up front, and took off.
I got onto IH35 in Oklahoma
City to head for one of the area lakes. The windows more...
Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost YOUR voice? Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. If you do too, leave them after the beep.
Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason's not here right now -- hey, haven't you ever lost YOUR voice? Well, believe you me, when I find him again, I'll have a few choice words for him. If you do too, leave them after the beep.
New Jersey Net Jason Kidd is having a child with his girlfriend. Kidd is excited to be credited with the assist.
Sean and Jason were in a bar, and they went into the toilet to take a leak.
While standing at the urinal Sean confessed, "I wish I had a dick like my cousin James. He needs four fingers to hold his."
Jason looked over and pointed out, "But you're holding yours with four fingers."
"I know," said Sean, "but I'm peeing on three of them."