Jason Jokes / Recent Jokes

See what 50 years will do:


Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.

2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1956 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.

2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Jason won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1956 - Jason sent to office and given a good more...

“What’s the usual tip? ” a man growled when, Jason, a college student delivered his pizza. “Well, ” Jason replied, “this is my first delivery, but the other guys said that if I got a quarter out of you, I’d be doing great. ” “Is that so? ” grunted the man. “In that case, here’s twenty dollars. ” “Thanks, ” Jason said, “I’ll put it in my college fund. ” “By the way, what are you studying? ” inquired the man. Jason replied, “Applied psychology. ”

Little Jason was getting terrible grades in school. His parents decided to send him to a new school with the hopes that things would improve. Still he got bad grades. They sent him to several different schools, all with the same results, bad grades. As a last resort, they decided to send him to a catholic school.
The first day Jason came home, he rushed to his room and did his homework. This continued every day until report cards came out and Jason's parents were thrilled to see that he had straight A's. As proud as they were, they were curious to find out how come there was such an improvement in his grades since going to the catholic school.
"Well," Jason told them, "when I walked in the first day and looked up and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, something told me they meant business."

Jason and Peter were arguing about whose Dad was richer.

Jason says, "My Father is so rich he's going to buy the Pacific Ocean."

Peter says, "Oh, yeah? If you don't shut up, I'll tell my Dad not to sell it."

Jason showed his buddy the beautiful diamond ring he had bought his girlfriend for her birthday. "I thought she wanted a four-wheel-drive vehicle," ventured his friend.
"She did," Jason said. "But where am I going to find a fake Jeep?"