James Jokes / Recent Jokes
James came to school late.
TEACHER: James, why are you late?
JAMES: I had to take the cow to the bull to mate.
TEACHER: Couldn't your father do that?
JAMES: No, I think it's better for the bull to do it.
James decided to take up sky diving as a hobby. On his first solo jump, he pulled the ripcord at the right time, but nothing happened. The parachute wouldn't open. He then pulled the emergency chute, but that appeared to be stuck too.
As he glanced down to see the ground rushing towards him, he noticed a man hurtling upward directly at him.
"Hey!" James shouted. "Would you happen to know anything about parachutes?"
"No!" the man yelled back. "Would you happen to know anything about gas stoves?"
james sucks so much you scrape his teeth and all you get is ten pounds of left over cum
James was on the beach, and could not understand why Bob had attracted all the girls, while he had no luck. So he asked Rich "why do you get all the girls and I get nothing?"
Bob replied "take a potato and tuck it in your swimming trunks. It drives the women wild!" So James stuffed a potato in his suit and paraded up and down the beach. Several hours later, he still had no woman. James went to see Bob again and said "I've tried the potato and it doesn't work!" Bob looked at James and asked, "have you tried putting the potato in the front?"
The Oscars are here! The Oscars are here!
The single greatest night of year is coming, and that means it's time for me to tell you who will win! I'm good, you know it. Last year, I told you James Coburn would win, and you all laughed, and he won. WHY DO YOU DOUBT ME?
Many of you cling to the belief that the Oscar goes to the most deserving nominee. Get over yourself. Oscars have nothing to do with talent and everything to do with marketing. With that in mind, here is the list of who will win.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR OK, everyone loved the little kid in Sixth Sense. But the last time the Academy gave an award to a damn kid (Anna Paquin from The Piano) she vanished off the face of the Earth to concentrate on a spelling bee. Face it, they ain't gonna give an award to anyone who still worships the Power Rangers. How about Michael Clarke Duncan from The Green Mile? Too tall. Jude Law? Forget it, his name's Jude.
There are really only two possible more...