Issuing Jokes

A Khalistan Roadways bus plying between the state's major towns had a Nihang conductor.' Where to?' he asked a young Sikh passenger before issuing him a ticket.
'Amritsar,' replied the youngster.
The Nihang conductor gave him a clout on the head and said,' It is Sri Amritsar Sahib.'
The youngster quickly corrected himself,' Yes, of course! One for Sri Amritsar Sahib.'
The next passenger was a Hindu.' Where to?' asked the Nihang.
'Sri Ludhian Sahib,' replied the other timidly.
He too was rewarded with a clout on the head.' Only Ludhiana, no Sri or Sahib admonished the Nihang before issuing him a ticket.
The third passenger happended to be a worldlywise Marwari. When asked for his destination, he replied;' Nihangji kindly give me a ticket for Sri Amritsar Sahib; thereafter I will go on foot to my village.'
The Nihang was pleased: if you are not completing your journey by this bus, no need for a ticket-shikcet,' replied the Nihang.

Bob was joining the army and they were handing out rifles when he arrived, so he got in line. When it got to Bob, they had run out of guns. The man issuing rifles gave him a broom
''This is a magic broom - point it at anybody, say 'Bangity bangity bang,' and they will die.'' Bob was really worried because he didn't think it would work, but he got in line for bayonets, thinking he might stand a chance if he could stab them to death. As luck would have it, Bob's turn came and they had ran out.
''Don't worry.'' said the man issuing them out. ''I will give you this magic carrot - point it at somebody, say 'Stabbity stabbity stab,' and they will die." Now Bob is terrified, going into battle with a broom and carrot, when the sirens go off, signaling invasion. Bob goes out, only to be laughed at by the enemy. One enemy even comes up to him, hoping to get a good shot at him. Well, Bob didn't have anything to lose so he pointed at him and said ''Bangity bangity bang!'' and the guy more...