Islam Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Sudan has found the British teacher who allowed students to name a teddy bear'Muhammad' guilty of insulting religion and inciting hatred against Islam, and has sentenced her to 15 days in jail and to deportation.

    Upon hearing this news, people all over Sudan began naming teddy bears Muhammad.

    While jurists in the free world mostly agreed with the Sudan verdict, they disagreed with the charges, saying that the teacher instead should have been convicted for insulting a teddy bear.

    They argued that naming a bed of nails or a guillotine'Muhammad' is one thing, but warm and fuzzy objects such as teddy bears truly run contrary to Islam.

    On Sunday, the Pope said he is "deeply sorry for the reactions" to his comments about Islam. He then mumbled something about Jews being "way cooler" about the Holocaust.

    Nearly 1,000 clerics and scholars of Islam met in Pakistan to draft a response to the Pope's accusation that Islam is a religion spread "by the sword."
    In their statement, the group comments that Islam is not spread by the sword alone, but it sure helps.

    A Pakistani officer broke into the house of a professor in East Pakistan, formerly Bangladesh, and saw three pictures on the wall: Kazi Nazrul Islam, Mr Jinnah and Gurudev Tagore. He assumed that Nazrul Islam's photograph was that of a Hindu so he shot it with his revolver. Then he sprang to attention and saluted the portrait of Mr Jinnah. And who is this fellow with the long hair and beard?' demanded the officer.
    'Sir, that is the father of Quaid-e-Azem Jinnah,' replied the quickwitted professor. The soldier sprang to attention and saluted the portrait of Tagore.

    I've had people say "Your husband doesn't eat for a month - he must lose a lot of weight". No! Just to mess with them I say "Oh don't you know? Muslims have little pouches in their cheeks like hamsters so they can store food for when the fasting begins".

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