Inflatable Jokes / Recent Jokes
Editor's Note: It's dry parody. You gotta really like sci-fi to enjoy this one...
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Experiment 8 Postflight Summary
NASA publication 14-307-1792
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ABSTRACT
The purpose of this experiment was to prepare for the expected participation in long-term space based research by husband-wife teams once the US space station is in place. To this end, the investigators explored a number of possible approaches to continued marital relations in the zero-G orbital environment provided by the XXXXXX shuttle mission.
Our primary conclusion is that satisfactory marital relations are within the realm of possibility in zero-G, but that many couples would have difficulty getting used to the approaches we found to be most satisfactory.
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INTRODUCTION
The more...
These are all true cuttings,
Irish police are being handicapped
in a search for a stolen van
because they cannot issue a description. It is
a Special Branch vehicle and they
do not want the public to know what it
looks like. (The Guardian)
Police reveal that a woman
arrested for shoplifting had a
whole salami in her knickers. When asked why she
said it was because she was
missing her boyfriend. (Reuters via The
Manchester Evening News)
After being charged 20 [pounds] for a 10 [pound]
overdraft, 30 year old Michael
Howard of Leeds changed his name by deed
poll to "Yorkshire Bank PLC Are
Fascist Bastards". The bank has now asked
him to close his account and Mr.
Bastards has asked them to repay the 69p
balance by cheque made out in his
new name.
(The Guardian)
Notice seen in the Churchtown
Parish Magazine: Would the
congregation please
note that the bowl at the back more...
"It seemed like a great idea, except that we forgot that Grandma and Grandpa would be there... "
As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true, because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were overflowed, his poor panty hose hung sadly empty and grew increasingly threadbare.
One year, I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and a fake beard and went in search of an inflatable love doll. Of course, they don't sell those things at Wal-mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.
If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there almost three hours saying things like, "What does this do?" "You're kidding me!" "Who owns that?" "Do you have their phone more...
Non stick Cellotape Solar Powered Flash Light A black highlighter pen Glow in the dark sunglasses Inflatable Anchor Smooth Sandpaper Waterproof sponge Waterproof Teabags AC adapter for Solar powered calculators Fireproof Matches Fireproof Cigarettes Battery powered Battery Charger Seatbelts for Motorbikes Hand powered Chainsaw Inflatable Dartboard Silent Alarm Clock A Pedal powered wheelchair Braille Drivers Manual Double sided playing cards Ejector seats for Helicopters
As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of pantyhose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them.
What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were overflowing, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty and grew increasingly threadbare.
One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and a fake beard and went in search of an inflatable love doll.
Of course, they don't sell those things at Walmart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself.
I was there almost three hours saying things like, "What does this do?"
"You're kidding me!"
"Who owns that?"
"Do you have their phone number?"
Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll suitable more...
Useless Inventions
Non stick Cellotape
Solar Powered Flash Light
A black highlighter pen
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Inflatable Anchor
Smooth Sandpaper
Waterproof sponge
Waterproof Teabags
AC adapter for Solar powered calculators
Fireproof Matches
Fireproof Cigarettes
Battery powered Battery Charger
Seatbelts for Motorbikes
Hand powered Chainsaw
Inflatable Dartboard
Silent Alarm Clock
A Pedal powered wheelchair
Braille Drivers Manual
Double sided playing cards
Ejector seats for Helicopters
As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace
before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they
say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas
morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were overflowed, his poor panty hose
hung sadly empty and grew increasingly threadbare.
One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and a fake
beard and went in search of an inflatable love doll. Of course, they don't sell
those things at Wal-mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If
you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself.
I was there almost three hours saying things like, "What does this do?"
"You're kidding me!" "Who owns that?" "Do you have their phone number?"
Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a more...