Hunting Jokes / Recent Jokes
A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said "Stay here and be VERY QUIET. I'll be across the field." A few minutes later the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son asking "What's wrong? I told you to be quiet."
The son answered, "Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and said "Should we eat them here or take them with us?" I panicked...
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for the bear. He soon found a huge one, shot at it, but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, and he started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast, but teh bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door, and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?"Quack! Quack! Quack!"
A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said, "Stay here and be very QUIET. I'll be across the field."An hour later, the father heard a bloodcurdling scream and ran back to his son. "What's wrong?" the father asked. "I told you to be quiet!" The son answered, "Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. I didn't move a muscle when the skunk climbed over my shoulder. I closed my eyes and held my
breath when the wasp stung me. I didn't cough when I swallowed the gnat. I didn't cuss or scratch when the poison oak started itching. But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and said, "Should we eat them here or take them with us? Well, I guess I just panicked."
When you put your hunting boots on you only get them on the right feet 50% of the time.
Your idea of a neighborhood watch program is tuning into "America's Most Wanted".
You own more than two clappers.
While out hunting one day, a man came upon a bear. He raised his gun and took a shot, but only grazed him. This angered the bear who took off after the hunter, chasing him for some distance through the woods.
Finally the man came to the edge of a cliff with nowhere to run. As the bear approached him, he began to pray, "Dear Lord, please give this bear a touch of religion."
The bear halted abruptly, looked up toward Heaven, and said, "Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to eat."
A guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranch. When they reach their deer blinds, the guy says, "If you shoot a deer, be sure not to let somebody else say he's the one who shot it. Otherwise, he'll take the deer from you. The deer belongs to whoever shoots it." The guy goes to his own blind. Ten minutes later, he hears his wife shooting from her blind nearby. He rushes over and finds her pointing her rifle at a cowboy who's hollering, "Awright, lady, awright-you can have the goddamn deer! Just lemme get my saddle off it!"