Hunting Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Saturday morning, Dave, who's an avid hunter, wakes up anxious to go bag the first deer of the season. As he enters the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, he finds his wife sitting there, dressed in camouflage.
"Laura, what are you up to?" he asks.
"I'm going hunting with you!" she replies.
Although Dave has many reservations about this, he reluctantly agrees to take her along. When they arrive at the hunting site, Dave sets her safely up in the tree stand and says, ""If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot."
He then walks away with a smile on his face, knowing that Laura couldn't bag an elephant, let alone a deer. But, not ten minutes pass when he's startled as he hears a barrage of gunshots.
He quickly begins running back. As he gets closer to her stand, he hears her screaming, "Get away from my deer!"
Confused, he races faster towards his screaming wife. more...

Two hunters are hunting deer in the Western USA. They spot some deer on a farmer's land and they decide to go ask the farmer if he will let them hunt on his land. Only one of the guys goes to ask.
He says, "Sir, we noticed you got some deer on your land and we wondered if you would allow us to hunt them?"
The farmer says, "Sure, no problem. But on one condition. I got this old horse that's real sick and just about ready to die. I'd appreciate one of you fella's shootin him for me. I just can't bring myself to do it."
The hunter says that it won't be a problem. On the way back to the pickup he thinks to himself, "I'm gonna screw around with my buddy."
He walks up to the pickup and says, "That SOB won't let us hunt his land. You know what, I'm gonna shoot his horse."
At this point, the first hunter pulls out his gun and shoots the farmer's horse.
The second guy, so caught up in the emotion says, "Yeah, that SOB!" more...

Two Rednecks went bear hunting.
While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear.
He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.
The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.
He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.
Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.
The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"

While out Looking For A Place To Hunt: (supposedly true)
A carload of hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into
a farmer's yard. The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission
to hunt. The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you
do me a favor? That old mule standing over there is 20 years old
and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to kill her. Would
you do it for me?" The hunter said, "Sure," and headed for the car.
While walking back, however, he decided to pull a trick on his
hunting buddies. He got into the car and when they asked if the
farmer had said OK, he said, "No, we can't hunt here, but I'm going
to teach that old cuss a lesson." With that, he rolled down his
window, stuck his gun out and blasted the mule. As he exclaimed,
"There, that will teach him!" a second shot rang out from the
passenger side. And, one of his hunting buddies shouted, "I more...

After years of listening to her plead, a hunter finally decided to let his wife come hunting with him. He led her into the woods and left her in a blind with instructions on what to do when a deer came within range. He had no sooner arrived at his own blind when he heard a shot coming from his wife's direction. The first shot was quickly followed by several more. He immediately ran back to see what had happened, only to find a man standing in front of his wife with his hands up shouting, "OK lady, it's your deer! Just let me take the saddle off!"

Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand.

After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Jerry and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!"

Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said,' Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet any more!"

Three statisticians go hunting. When they see a rabbit, the first one shoots, missing it on the left. The second one shoots and misses it on the right.
The third one shouts: "We've hit it!"