Housework Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman's work.

But one evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers.

She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework in addition to holding down a full-time job.

The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her friends in the office. "How did it work out?" they asked.

"Well, it was a great dinner," Mary said. "Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry more...

Recently a "Husband Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn''t go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping center to find some husbands...

First floor
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that''s better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what''s further up?" So up they went.

Second floor
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what''s further up?"

Third floor
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good more...

A "Husband Shopping Center" was opened where a woman could go to choose from among many men to be her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors.
The only rule was that once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place.
So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men.
First floor, the door had a sign saying: "These men have jobs and love kids."
The women read the sign and say: "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"
So up they go. Second floor says: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."
"Hmmm," say the girls, "But, I wonder what's further up?"
Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good more...

Diane was married to a real male chauvinist. Although they both worked full-time, he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework.
One day Steve, her husband, read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job. So, one evening, he declared to do her work.
When Diane arrived home from work, she was stunned to see the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner cooking on the stove, and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was truly astonished and wanted to know what was going on. When she asked Steve, he told her about the article he had read.
The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office. "How did it work out?" they asked.
Diane said, "Steve even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the more...

Q: What is a man's idea of helping you with the housework?
A: Lifting up his legs so you can vacuum underneath them.

Carol's husband, Arnie, was a male chauvinist. Even though they both worked full-time, he never helped around the house. Housework was a woman's work!
One evening Carol arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished.
It turns out that Arnie had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex. The night went well and the next day she told her office friends all about it.
"We had a great dinner. Arnie even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening."
"But what about afterward?" asked her friends.
"Oh, that was perfect too. Arnie was too tired!"

What's a man's idea of housework? Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.