Clothing Jokes

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    Disaster in Hull
    An Appeal for Your Help
    A major earthquake measuring 5. 2 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Wednesday morning. Epicentre: Hull, England.
    News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's 35, 000 racing pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "fookinhell" and "choffin-norah".
    The earthquake decimated the town, causing £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearic Isles and the Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out cars were disturbed.
    Many locals were woken up well before their Giro arrived. Radio Hull reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Hull.
    One resident of Bransholme, 15 year old mother of 3, Tracy Sharon Braithwaite said: "It was such a shock, my little more...

    Start asking her questions (don't mistakenly do anything) about cooking, cleaning, and laundry. Say, "I think it's time I learn to take care of myself. You know, just in case." Volunteer to cook for her. Make sure it's real greasy. Use every pot and pan in the house and be sure you spill and/or drop some of everything everywhere. While brushing your teeth, flick the toothbrush first at the sink and then at the mirror. Never ask her to get you something from the kitchen when she's in the kitchen. Let her spend a good 30 minutes in there and when she reaches the sofa with a sigh of relief say, "Will you PLEASE do me a big favor and get me a beer, my back is just killing me today. Be sure to load up all your pockets with tissues before you drop them in the clothes hamper. Leave yourself a trail of clothing, towels, dishes, and everything else you put your hands on. This will ensure you never lose your way. Wait until she's overwhelmed with work (Weekly Opportunity) lean in more...

    1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when the aren't looking.
    2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
    3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
    4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares, and see what happens
    5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
    6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
    7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
    8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'.
    9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
    10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
    11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly more...

    1. Blady war on our boarder, Sons of Bengal bheel crush these hoarders. All join CRP and Army, Bugger Chinese must flee.
    2. Recruiting offishsars taking names, Whife say Bholanath don't be shamed, Put your name on top of the least, Phor phree clothing and phresh pheesh.
    3. To the depoh all are sent, Banerjees, Choudhurys all did went, Debs, Deys, Duttas and Das, Shaking posterior with big arse.
    4. Guptos, Ghosh, Guhas and Mondols, Looking like many dhobi bundles, Mookherjees, Chatterjees, Mazumdars and Mitters, Grinding tooths for hurt (heart) is bitter.
    5. Shum-one is shouting tarn to right, Phor medical exam and eyeshight. Doctor is telling undress phull, But I am feeling blady phool.
    6. Doctor putting tape around chest, Breathe in and out and dam the rest. Myself feeling bhery sai (shy), Doctor is pheeling near thigh.
    7. Now for khaki clothing go, I am rushing but dhuti tore. Pushing, heaving, jostling and banging, But I pheel something is more...


    Whitehouse press spokeswoman Joan Braithwaite has delivered the
    following statement to media regarding accusation involving
    impropriety between President Clinton and Miss Lewinsky:

    The President absolutely did not engage in any sexual conduct
    with Miss Lewinsky and will vigorously defend himself against
    such claims.
    However the President would like to state that it is possible
    that a perfectly innocent incident has been twisted by right wing
    Republicans in order to undermine his administration.
    Mr. Clinton has said that there was an occasion when it was
    necessary for him to adjust his clothing he noticed with some
    embarrassment that his fly was undone. The President said that he
    unfortunately had some difficulty with his clothing as his zipper
    got stuck. Because Mr. Clinton has slight arthritis in his hands
    he found he could not get the zipper up.
    He therefore, for medical more...

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