Harassment Jokes / Recent Jokes

63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop
1. When you get pulled over, say “What’s wrong, ossifer, there’s no blood in my alcohol? ”
2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to……
5. Ask if you can see his gun.
6. When he says you aren’t allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him by his first name.
11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks you to more...

1. Whenever answering the phone, and its for your boss, say "He's under
his desk screwing his secretary. Can I take a message?"
2. Strip off all your clothes. Complain about how hot it is in the
office, regardless of the temperature
3. When your boss is on the phone scream "Dammit! I'm expecting a call!!
Stay off the phone!!"
4. If your boss bumps into you, start screaming sexual harassment. Talk
in great lengths about the state laws on harassment. Get the authorites
involved. Threaten to sue.
5. Sleep with your boss's daughter. Videotape it. Pass out copies around
the office. Brag about how easy she was.
6. Steal various office equipment (pencils, staplers, desks). Frame your
boss for it.
7. When asked to do something start laughing hysterically. Continue this
for five minutes. Calm down and say, "Oh, you were being serious?"
8. Loosen the bolts on the boss's chair. Laugh loudly more...

It seems that a man who recently had a sex change has been complaining about all the sexual harassment she has been receiving since she became a woman.
The women in her office said they would stop harassing her as soon as she started putting the seat down on the toilet.

In our complex technical environment there are many opportunities for a
competent technical individual to be the subject of technical harassment.
Sometimes it can be so subtle that you may not even be aware you are being
harassed. Worse yet, you may inadvertently technically harass another person
by accident.
Following are some guidelines to help you determine if you are being
technically harassed.
If you are repeatedly asked the same technical question you may be the
victim of technical harassment. While it is most common to be asked the
question repeatedly within the same conversation, some instances have been
identified of habitual technical harassment. Habitual technical harassment is
not uncommon and has been known to exhibit group tendencies where members of a
group may ask the same question repeatedly. Untreated, these instances of
group technical harassment can continue for years.
If you are asked a technical question by more...

The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from AirForce fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. "Obviously the Air Force knows there'sno such thing as a' perfectly good aircraft,'" the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon, "because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in one as the Armypays its men to jump." "You've got it all wrong, Major," an Air Force sergeant replied. "The Army figures anyone stupid enough to jump out of an airplane voluntarily is gonna be too dumb to bitchabout the salary."

A woman works in an office setting. Every morning a man she works with comes in and sticks his nose in her hair, backs away and exclaims, "Boy, your hair smells GREAT!"
This became a regular occurrence, and began to annoy the woman. Day after day this went on. Finally she decided to report him to the Director of Human resources. She said to him, "I would like to file a sexual harassment charge!"
"What do you base this on?" replied the HR Manager.
"Well, you see, every morning a man I work with comes in and sticks his nose in my hair, backs away and exclaims' Boy, your hair smells GREAT!'"
"I'm afraid that this doesn't sound like much of a case," said the HR.
"Well, would it bolster my case if you knew the guy was a midget?" retorted the woman.

Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Little Johnny: Her mouth said' no', but her ass meant' yes'.