Glenn Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Carol was having trouble with her computer. So she called Glenn, the computer guy, over to her desk. Glenn clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
    As he was walking away, Carol called after him, "So, what was wrong?" And he replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error."
    A puzzled expression ran riot over Carol's face. "An ID Ten T Error? What's that... in case I need to fix it again??"
    He gave her a grin... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T Error before?" "No," replied Carol. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
    (She wrote...) I D 1 0 T

    What do Glenn Hoddle and da Titanic have in common?
    Neither should have left Southampton.

    Glenn took his dog to the veterinary clinic, and laid its limp body on the table. The doctor pulled out his stethoscope, listened to the dog's chest for a moment, then shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away.""What?" Glenn screamed. "You haven't even done any tests! I want another opinion."The vet left the room and returned in a few moments with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever sniffed the dog on the table carefully from head to toe. Finally, the Retriever shook it's head and barked once (meaning "dead and gone").The vet took the Labrador away and returned a few minutes later with a cat, which also sniffed carefully over the dog on the table before shaking its head and saying, "Meow" (meaning "he's gone"). After the cat jumped off the table, the vet handed Glenn a bill for $600. The man shook the bill at the vet. "$600!!!! Just to tell me my dog is dead?!!! That's outrageous!"The vet more...

    Then: Long Hair
    Now: Longing for hair

    Then: The perfect high.
    Now: The perfect high yield mutual fund.

    Then: Keg.
    Now: EKG.

    Then: Acid Rock.
    Now: Acid Reflux.

    Then: Moving to California because it's cool.
    Now: Moving to California because it's warm.

    Then: Growing pot.
    Now: Growing pot belly.

    Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
    Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.

    Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
    Now: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

    Then: Seeds and stems.
    Now: Roughage.

    Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.
    Now: Popping joints, aching joints.

    Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
    Now: Our president's struggle with Fidel.

    Then: Paar.
    Now: AARP.

    Then: Killer weed.
    Now: Weed more...

    Adding to his woes, it seems Fox News Commentator Glenn Beck lost even more adverstisers. Apparently the White Citizens Council, American Nazi Party, KKK, and the National Man Boy Love Association don't want their reputations damaged.

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