Gen Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    1. The first German serviceman killed in the war was killed by the Japanese (China, 1937), the first American serviceman killed was killed by the Russians (Finland 1940), the highest ranking American killed was Lt. Gen. Lesley McNair, killed by the US Army Air Corps. So much for allies.

    2. The youngest US serviceman was 12 year old Calvin Graham, USN. He was wounded and given a Dishonorable Discharge for lying about his age. (His benefits were later restored by act of Congress)

    3. At the time of Pearl Harbor the top US Navy command was Called CINCUS (pronounced "sink us"), the shoulder patch of the US Army's 45th. Infantry division was the Swastika, and Hitler's private train was named "Amerika". All three were soon changed for PR purposes.

    4. More US servicemen died in the Air Corps than the Marine Corps. While completing the required 30 missions your chance of being killed was 71%.

    5. Generally speaking there was no more...

    Saddam Hussain visits God and asks him: "God when shall I see the defeat of Bill Clinton."
    God replies: "Son, you will not see it in your lifetime." Hearing this, Saddam Hussain starts crying and goes away.
    Gen Parvez Musharaff visits God and asks him: "God when shall I see the capture of Kashmir by Pakistan."
    God replies: "Son, you will not see it in your lifetime." Hearing this, Gen Parvez Musharaff starts crying and goes away.
    Ranil W. visits God and asks him: "God when will I become the President in Sri Lanka." Hearing this, God starts crying.
    Ranil W. is astounded and asks: "God why are you crying?" God replies: "Son, I will not see it in my lifetime."

    Copied from Ann Lander's Column:
    Landers: Santa's `official' visit has special Claus in military directives.
    DEAR Ann Landers: I found this on the Internet and thought it was a hoot. I hope you will print it for Christmas. -- Steve Online
    Dear Steve: Although the Internet has attracted an amazing amount of garbage, it has also made a great deal of valuable information available to millions of people. Thanks for your charming contribution. Here it is:
    This in from retired Air Force Brig. Gen. Bob Clements. Please read.
    To: All Retired Military Personnel
    Subject: Official Command Visit
    This office has been informed of an official visit by Gen. Santa Claus to this base on 25 December. The following directives will govern activities of personnel during this visit: No creatures will stir without official permission. This will include all native mice. Special stirring permits will be obtained through the orderly room.
    Personnel will settle their more...

    To All Retired Military Personnel
    Subject Official Command Visit
    This office has been informed of an official visit by Gen. Santa
    Claus to this base on 25 December. The following directives will
    govern activities of personnel during this visit
    1. No creatures will stir without official permission. This will include all
    native mice. Special stirring permits will be obtained through the orderly
    room.
    2. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 220
    hours. Uniform for nap pajamas, cotton, light drowsing, with kerchief,
    general purpose.
    3. Personnel will utilize standard ration sugarplums to dance through their
    heads. This item may be picked up in the orderly room.
    4. Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by chimneys with care.
    Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fires. Individual
    sections will submit stocking-hanging plans to Capt. Kringle by 0800 hours,
    22 more...

    Saddam Hussain Visits God And Asks Him: " God When Shall I See The Defeat Of George Bush? " God Replies:" Son, You Will Not
    See It In Your Lifetime. " Hearing This, Saddam Hussain Starts Crying And Goes Away. Gen Parvez Musharaff Visits God And Asks
    Him: " God When Shall I See The Capture Of Kashmir By Pakistan?" God Replies: " Son, You Will Not See It In Your Lifetime."
    Hearing This, Gen Parvez Musharaff Starts Crying And Goes Away. Laaloo Yadav Visits God And Asks Him:" God When Shall I See
    Bihar Becoming A Prosperous And Happy State? " Hearing This, God Starts Crying. Laaloo Is Astounded And Asks: " God, Why Are
    You Crying? " God Replies: " Son, I Will Not See It In My Lifetime"

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