Froze Jokes / Recent Jokes

Did you hear about the Polish family that froze to death outside a theater? They were waiting to see the movie "Closed for the Winter."

There were three friends Santa, Banta and Jugnu in Shimla. Once, while they were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their residences were. They could agree on everything but whose residence was the coldest, so they decided to determine who indeed had the coldest house.
They went to Jugnu's residence, where he said "Watch this!"
Jugnu poured a cup of water into the air. Well, the water froze in mid-air and fell onto the floor solid.
"Not bad", said Santa and Banta.
So they went to Banta's residence, and he said "Watch this!"
Banta took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a big lump and fell to the floor.
"Wow, that's colder than mine!" said Jugnu.
But Santa exclaimed that his was colder still. So they ended up at Santa's residence.
Santa said "Watch this!"
Santa went into the bedroom, threw back the thick furs, and retrieved one of more...

This comes by way of a died in the wool New Yorker that I sometimes work with. Written by her mom, I think, but there are similar "diaries" floating around. Picture someone moving from the sun belt to the snow belt...
December 8:
6:00 p.m. and it has started to snow. The first of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat by the window watching the soft flakes drift down all over the area. It was beautiful.
December 9:
We awoke to a big blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Every tree and shrub was covered by a beautiful mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both the driveway and sidewalks. Later, a snow plow came through and covered our sidewalk with compacted snow from the street, so I shoveled it again.
December 12:
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Oh well, I'm sure we will get some more before the winter is through.
December 14:
It snowed inches more...

There were these three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their igloos were. They could agree on everything but whose igloo was the coldest, so they decided to determine who, indeed, had the coldest igloo. They went to the first Eskimo's igloo, where he said "Watch this!" and poured a cup of water into the air. Well, the water froze in mid-air and fell onto the floor. "Not bad" said the other Eskimos, but each maintained their igloo was colder still. So they went to the second Eskimo's igloo, and he said "Watch this!" and took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a big lump and fell to the floor. "Wow, that's colder than mine!" said the first Eskimo. But the third Eskimo exclaimed his was colder still. So they ended up at the third Eskimo's igloo. He said "Watch this!" and went into the bedroom, threw back the thick more...

There were three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their igloos were. They could agree on everything but whose igloo was the coldest, so they decided to determine who, indeed, had the coldest igloo. They went to the first Eskimo's igloo, where he said "Watch this!" and poured a cup of water into the air. Well, the water froze in mid-air and fell onto the floor solid. "Not bad" said the other Eskimos, but each maintained their igloo was colder still. So they went to the second Eskimo's igloo, and he said "Watch this!" and took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a big lump and fell to the floor. "Wow, that's colder than mine!"said the first Eskimo. But the third Eskimo exclaimed his was colder still. So they ended up at the third Eskimo's igloo. He said "Watch this!" and went into the bedroom, looked under three hugh more...