Fiance Jokes / Recent Jokes

Last year, many women upgraded their BOYFRIEND 3.1 to BOYFRIEND PLUS 1.0 (marketing name: FIANCE 1.0) and then further upgraded FIANCE 1.0 to HUSBAND 1.0. They found that 1.0 is a memory hogger and incompatible to many other programs in their lives. HUSBAND 1.0 includes plug-ins such as MOTHER-IN-LAW, BROTHER-IN-LAW, and ANNOYING LOSER FRIENDS although market research has clearly shown that they are unnecessary and unwanted.
The upcoming BOYFRIEND 4.0 will change all that. Created by leading experts in the field and based upon years of research and classroom lectures, it includes the best of the old features, such as the HANDYMAN FUNCTION, and includes many new functions such as the OPTIONAL COMMITMENT FEATURE. Other immature functions, such as BEER GUZZLING and CAT CALLING have been removed, though they can still be found on FRATBOY 1.1
BOYFRIEND 4.0 will include:
- An AUTOMATIC REMINDER BUTTON AND PAY ATTENTION FEATURE (so I don't have to repeat myself) - MINIMIZE BUTTON more...

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriend Plus 1.0 (marketing name: Fiance 1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiance 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it's a memory hogger: has taken up all his space.
Wife 1.0 must be running before he can do anything and seems to conflict/interfere with other tasks running such as hockey 2.1, squash 3.01 and boys out 1.2. Although he didn't ask for them, Wife 1.0 came with auto-installed Plug-Ins such as Mother In Law and Brother In Law.
Some features I'd like to see in the upcoming GirlFriend 4.0...
- A "Don't remind me again" button
- Minimize button
- Shutdown feature
- An install shield feature so that Girlfriend 4.0 can be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don't lose cache and other objects)
- "Abort" button (O.K. that one's pretty bad - but had to say it)
I tried running Girlfriend 2.0 with Girlfriend 1.0 still installed, they tried using the same I/O port and conflicted. Then I more...

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriend Plus 1.0 (marketing name: Fiance 1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiance 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it's a memory hogger: has taken up all his space.Wife 1.0 must be running before he can do anything and seems to conflict/interfere with other tasks running such as hockey 2.1, squash 3.01 and boys out 1.2. Although he didn't ask for them, Wife 1.0 came with auto-installed Plug-Ins such as Mother In Law and Brother In Law.Some features I'd like to see in the upcoming GirlFriend 4.0... - A "Don't remind me again" button- Minimize button- Shutdown feature- An install shield feature so that Girlfriend 4.0 can be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don't lose cache and other objects) - "Abort" button (O.K. that one's pretty bad - but had to say it)I tried running Girlfriend 2.0 with Girlfriend 1.0 still installed, they tried using the same I/O port and conflicted. Then I tried to uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 but it more...

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage." His father replied, "Don't you love this girl?" "Oh yes, very much," he said," but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my fiance will be put off by them." "No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a workable solution. The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom." Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful." "Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning." more...

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend
3.1 to GirlFriend Plus
1.0 (marketing name: Fiance
1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiance
1.0 to Wife
1.0 and it's a memory hogger: has taken up all his space.
Wife
1.0 must be running before he can do anything and seems to conflict/interfere with other tasks running such as hockey
2.1, squash
3.01 and boys out
1.
2. Although he didn't ask for them, Wife
1.0 came with auto-installed Plug-Ins such as Mother In Law and Brother In Law.
Some features I'd like to see in the upcoming GirlFriend
4.
0... - A "Don't remind me again" button - Minimize button - Shutdown feature - An install shield feature so that Girlfriend
4.0 can be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don't lose cache and other objects) - "Abort" button (O.K. that one's pretty bad - but had to say it)
I tried running Girlfriend
2.0 with Girlfriend
1.0 still installed, they tried using more...

A nice girl brings home her fiance to meet her parents.
After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. He invites the fiance to his study for a chat.
"So, what are your plans?" the father asks the fiance.
"I am a Biblical scholar," he replies.
"A Biblical scholar. Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?"
"I will study," the young man replies, "...and God will provide for us."
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?"
"I will concentrate on my studies, God will provide for us."
"And children? How will you support children?"
"Don't worry, sir, God will provide."
The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the fiance insists that God will provide.
Later, the mother asks, "So? How did it more...

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage." His father replied, "Don't you love this girl?" "Oh yes, very much," he said, "but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my fiance will be put off by them." "No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a workable solution. The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom. "Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful." "Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning." more...