Emotion Jokes

1. Don't call, ever. 2. Name your penis. Be sure it is something narcissistic and unoriginal, like "Spike." 3. Play with yourself. Talk about it. 4. You are a man. Remember, no matter what, it isn't your fault. 5. Lie. 6. Never ask for help. Even if you really need it, don't ask. People will think you have no penis. 7. Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them. 8. If, God forbid, you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use only monosyllabic words and noises. Bodily noises are permissible. 9. Lie. 10. Everyone finds a man more attractive if he can write his name in urine. 11. Say things like "Wha.. . ? " 12. Deny everything. Everything. 13. Don't have a clue. 14. If you don't get sex whenever you want, your balls will shrivel. Enforce this rule at all times. 15. Tell this to your girl before you have sex, "Don't worry. If you don't have an orgasm, you won't get pregnant." 16. Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you at more...