Electric Jokes / Recent Jokes

A murderer was secured to the electric chair, about to be executed.
The chaplain approached him and calmly asked, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replied the murderer. "Would you hold my hand?"

Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.

Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet od handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!
Question: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
Answer: It was wound up already.
Question: What more...

Allegedly a letter to the Home Economist:

SIR:

Mr. Gates' arguments may also be applied to the electricity utility business. If I were the head of Gates Gas & Electric, the first thing I would do is declare that we sell energy systems, not power, and that customers tell us that they want a familiar energy environment wherever they go

The first step would be to integrate a smart fridge into the overall energy system as it is the first appliance opened by most users and real-time monitoring of beer temperature increases satisfaction with the energy environment for 78% of all customers

Customers would be free to use other fridges, even making someone else's their default appliance. However, if they try to remove the Gas & Electric fridge their television and air conditioner might not function properly. When a circuit fails in an older home we would repair it with a' service pack' that also installs our fridge, eventually introducing all more...

Q. Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? A. So they can find their way back to the house.

A guy's on the electric chair. The warden's just about to pull the switchwhen the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, "Do you have any lastrequests?" The guy says, "(hic) Yeah... (hic) could you please do (hic)could you please do something to scare me?"

General Motors made headlines with the new Chevrolet Volt electric car.
Among its amazing features, it is said to get 230 miles per gallon, and, because of its amazing gas millage, is rumored to run on gas companies tears.

THREE persons - an American, an Englishman and a Sardarji were convicted in USA for murder; but they were given a choice - to die by hanging, or electric chair or an AIDS injection.

The Englishman opted for the first, and he was hanged.

The American said he did not want to die like the Englishman with his tongue sticking out and fighting for life for one or two hours. He opted for the electric chair, and he died.

The Sardarji opted for the AIDS injection, so his trousers were pulled down, and he was given a big dose of AIDS injection in his bottom.

Soon after, the Sardarji was found jumping about, singing and laughing. On being asked what he was so happy about, the Sardarji replied,' You people thought you were very clever giving me that injection but you did not realise that I was wearing a condom at the time!'