Eating Jokes / Recent Jokes

You know that Camp doesnt mean a cabin in the woods. The men in your family were gardeners, farmers or produce workers. The women in your family were seamstresses, domestic workers or farm laborers. Your Issei grandparents had an arranged marriage. One of your relatives was a "picture bride." You have Nisei relatives named Tak, Tad, George, Harry or Shig. You have Nisei relatives named Keiko, Aiko, Sumi or Mary. Youre Sansei and your name is Janice, Glen, Brian, Bill or Kenji. Youre thinking of naming your Yonsei child, Brittany, Jenny, Lauren, Garett or Brett, with a Japanese middle name. All of your cousins are having hapa kids. You have relatives who live in Hawaii. You belong to a Japanese credit union Wherever you live now, you always come home to the Obon festival. The bushes in your front yard are trimmed into balls. You have a kaki tree in the backyard. You have at least one bag of sembei in the house at all times. You have a Japanese doll in a glass case in your more...

Once upon a time there was a chicken. This chicken was very fat and made lots of noise. One day this chicken made so much noise that a farmer came and cut the chicken's head off. Although most chickens would run around once their head was cut off, this chicken would not. Instead, it dropped dead. The end.
Once upon a time a computer dude named Eric went to the store to buy some food. Little did he know that when he went to get the chicken for his stir fry, the chicken he actually got was the hero/victim in the previous story. When the chicken had hit the ground, it had picked up a disease. The flesh eating bacteria that caused you to rot away in agony in less than 24 hours. Although young David's life was about to end, he would be remembered for a long time as the first one to contract the "David" virus. As David cooked the diseased poultry, little did he know, that the chicken was diseased in the first place. As he cooked it, it did not destroy the virus. He ate it more...

by Robert Chen
You should not attempt any these things. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
11. Instead of getting a fork, knife, and spoon, get three spoons. Cut your meat with them and pretend not to notice.
12. Do not to use glasses. Anytime you feel like having a drink, go up to the liquid dispenser, wrap your mouth around it, and press the button. Complain that it goes too fast.
13. Burp to the tune of Jingle Bells.
14. Stand next to the salad bar. Every time someone reaches for some food, yell, "Hey!" and shake your head.
15. Remark on how the food's sanitation is open to question. Recall the time you saw the chef blow snot rocks into the food "for seasoning." Ask the person next to you to be your Food Tester.
16. Enter the dining hall half naked. If you're not immediately removed from the premises, sit next to someone eating. Ask him or her how they're enjoying their meal.
17. Ask how the lettuce was more...

1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than her age. 2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her. 3. By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are bankrupt because of the number of times you had to take her out to movies, theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry. 4. The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer butter masala, aloo sabji, aloo Gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with chronic cholestrol or chronic gas disorder. 5. The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in your monthly phone bill. 6. You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandhi that she applies to cover her grey hair. 7. When you come home from office she is very busy watching more...

A good man passed away and went to heaven. He was greeted by St. Peter, who congratulated him and said he could have anything he wished.
The fellow requested something to eat and a telescope so that he could look around.
While eating the sandwich provided to him, he peered through the telescope down at the folks in hell and saw that they were feasting on prawns, chicken tikkas, mutton chops, karahi paneer and desserts.
"How come people down there are eating gourmet food?" He asked St. Peter. "I earned a place in heaven, but you gave me only a sandwich!"
"Well," replied St. Peter apologetically, "it doesn't pay to cook for just two."

Day 1 Dear Emile, Thanks for da bird in the Pear tree. I fixed it las
night with dirty rice an it was delicious. I doan tink the Pear tree
would grow in de swamp, so I swapped it for a Satsuma.
Day 2 Dear Emile, Your letter said you sent 2 turtle dove, but all I got
was 2 scrawny pigeon.
Anyway, I mixed them with andouille and made some gumbo out of dem.
Day 3 Dear Emile, Why doan you sen me some crawfish? I’m tired of
eating dem darned bird. I gave two of those prissy French chicken to
Mrs. Fontenot over at Grand Chenier, and fed the tird one to my dog,
Phideaux. Mrs. Fontenot needed some sparring partners for her fighting
rooster.
Day 4 Dear Emile, Mon Dieux! I tole you no more of dem bird. Deez
four, what you call “calling bird” wuz so noisy you could hear dem all
da’ way to Lafayette. I used they necks for my crab traps, and fed the
rest of dem to the gators.
Day 5 Dear Emile, You finally sent more...

Q. You know why they say that eating oysters will improve a man's sex life?
A. Because women know if he'll eat one of those, he'll eat anything!