"An Evil Plot..." joke

Once upon a time there was a chicken. This chicken was very fat and made lots of noise. One day this chicken made so much noise that a farmer came and cut the chicken's head off. Although most chickens would run around once their head was cut off, this chicken would not. Instead, it dropped dead. The end.
Once upon a time a computer dude named Eric went to the store to buy some food. Little did he know that when he went to get the chicken for his stir fry, the chicken he actually got was the hero/victim in the previous story. When the chicken had hit the ground, it had picked up a disease. The flesh eating bacteria that caused you to rot away in agony in less than 24 hours. Although young David's life was about to end, he would be remembered for a long time as the first one to contract the "David" virus. As David cooked the diseased poultry, little did he know, that the chicken was diseased in the first place. As he cooked it, it did not destroy the virus. He ate it normally as if nothing was wrong. Then Kenji Clemmer, more commonly known as "Quado" joined David for dinner. Little did Quado know that his life was in great peril. Just as Quado and David were about to take a bite of the virus laced chicken, Tyron stepped inside. Tyron Hamamoto, more commonly known as Tylenol, or Tyrenol, stepped in because he smelled something delicious and was starving. So the three were about to dig in when Casey Yamashita, more known as Fatty Lumpkin, knocked at the door. He had run across the state because he smelled something more delicious than the most delicious thing he could think of at the moment. The four were happy to see each other and about to eat when a fourth person knocked at the door. Now who could this be? Oh, it's only Cody Moniz, or more commonly known as Neoglare, who saw three people enter and thought it was a cool party, so he wanted in but saw it was only his friends, so he stayed with no permission. Now the six guys were just sitting around the table about to eat when a final knock came at the door. It was Ian Ray, or more commonly as Tweenex or Kleenex. Now there were seven people and David didn't want anymore "friends" coming over, so he locked the door. Soon they began eating the fatal chicken and it took them 6 hours because they wanted to "savor" the flavor. Well, the seven guys started feeling sick within another 30 or so minutes. Not sure of what was wrong, they decided to get help and tried to exit. Apparently, David REALLY didn't want anyone else coming because he bolted the door shut with boards and whatnot. Everyone was too tired to remove the board, so their bodies slowly, and not to mention painfully, rotted away. Well just as the first person was about to die, David burst into flames and revealed his true self? he was really Lucifer in disguise. Regaining his "lost" strength, he laughed at the pitiful little mortals as they rotted away to their deaths. The next day the mysterious MB, or more commonly known as Ultima and Ultimate chaos, laughed till he pissed in his pants as he heard about the 6 decayed bodies at the pit of hell that had opened up the day before.

All you want for Christmas is a hairline!

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Question: How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Twelve. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT!?

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June 1st, was just a few short days away. It is a special day since it is the birthday of Rodney's wife, Cathy. Rodney asked his wife, what she'd like for her birthday.

"I'd love to be six again," Cathy replied.

Rodney pondered this for awhile. On more...

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A new soldier, Banta, was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield.
A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back.
Banta said, "Halt, who goes there?"
The more...

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A Sri Lankan is calmly having his breakfast when an American, typically chewing gum, sits down beside him. The Sri Lankan ignores the American who begins to chat:

The American: Do you eat that bread-entirely?
The Sri Lankan: Of course!
The American: We do more...

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