Knocked Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Czech walks into police station in 1968 during the Fraternal
    Assistance.
    Czech: Hey, out there in the street, a Swiss soldier knocked
    me down and took my Russian watch.
    Desk Sergeant: Come again?
    Czech: Are you deaf? Out there in the street, a Swiss soldier
    knocked me down and took my Russian watch.
    Desk Sergeant: You're confused. It was a Russian soldier who
    knocked you down and took your Swiss watch.
    Czech: Well, maybe, but you said it, not me.
    Henry Cate III

    -It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
    -A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
    -If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
    -Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
    -It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
    -When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
    -No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
    -Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total more...

    After many years at sea a pirate decided it was time to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job he thought that he could also collect disability insurance. He had a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand should be and a patch over his right eye. The agency assured him that he would be compensated if the injuries were work related. "How did you get the wooden leg?" In a booming voice the pirate replied:
    "WELL MATEY, YOU SEE IT WAS LIKE THIS: ME AND ME MATES WERE ON THE HIGH SEAS WHEN THE BOOM SHE SWANG 'ROUND AND KNOCKED ME INTO THE SEA WHERE A SHARK BIT OFF ME LEG."
    "Well that is certainly work related. How did you lose your hand." In a booming voice the pirate replied:
    "WELL MATEY, YOU SEE IT WAS LIKE THIS: ME AND ME MATES WERE ON THE HIGH SEAS WHEN THE BOOM SHE SWANG 'ROUND AND KNOCKED ME INTO THE SEA WHERE A SHARK BIT OFF ME HAND."
    "Well that is certainly work related. How did you lose your eye." In a more...

    A man walked up to a farmer's house, and knocked on the door. When the farmer's wife opened the door, the man asked if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door.Again, the man knocked, and again, he asked the same question. Again, she slammed the door and screamed, "Get the hell away!"Later, she told her husband of the incident. He said he would stay home the following day just in case.Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid with his gun while his wife answered the door. When she was asked again if she knew how to have sex she said, "Yes!"The man replied, "Great! Give some to your husband the next time you see him, and tell him to keep away from my wife!"

    A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o'clock. Ten o'clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, one o'clock; no plumber. She concluded he wasn't coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived. He knocked on the door; the lady's parrot, who was at home in a cage by the door, said, "Who is it?"He replied, "It's the plumber."He thought it was the lady who'd said, "Who is it?" and waited for her to come and let him in. When this didn't happen he knocked again, and again the parrot said, "Who is it?"He said, "It's the plumber!"He waited, and again the lady didn't come to let him in. He knocked again, and again the parrot said, "Who is it?"He said, "It's the plumber!!!!!!!!"Again he waited; again she didn't come; again he knocked; again the parrot said, "Who is it?"; "Aarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!" he said, flying into a rage; more...

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