Donkey Jokes / Recent Jokes
A team of archaeologists were excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance.
1. A dog
2. A donkey
3. A shovel
4. A fish
5. A Star of David
They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at Least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from all over the world came to study the ancient symbols.
They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss what they could agree was the meaning of the markings.
The President of their Society stood up and pointed at the first drawing and said, "This looks like a dog. We can judge that this was a highly intelligent race as they knew how to have animals for companionship.
To prove this statement you can see that the next symbol resembles a donkey, so, they were even smart enough to have animals help them till the more...
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous that he could hardly speak. after mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. the monsignor replied, "when I`m worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. if I start to get nervous I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor`s advice. at the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. he proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the following note on his door: 1) Sip the vodka, don`t gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late j. c.
7) The father, son and holy ghost are not referred to as daddy, junior and spook
8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of more...
There was this village lost in the depth of the Kumaon hills. No one visited it and none of its inhabitants had gone out to see what the rest of the world looked like. Then suddenly one villager won a lottery which gave him a free ticket to see three big cities of India. The entire village was agog with excitement. They gave their co-villager a pen and a pad and said, "You make a note of whatever you see in everyone of the three cities you visit and come and tell us about it when you return."
The lucky villager was first taken to Delhi and shown the Kutub Minar. In his pad he noted down "Kutub Minar". The next city he went to was Jaipur. There he saw many camels and faithfully recorded "camel". The third city was Ahmedabad where he saw lots of donkeys. He recorded "donkey". When he returned to his village, he told everyone of the wonderful things he had seen. Some months later a camel strayed into the village. They ran to the man who had more...
Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?" The Sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too.
1- One day a Mullah was going to Bazaar to sell his goose. An intelligent and humorous priest saw him and decided to put him on the test. He approached the Mullah and asked: how much is the donkey? The mullah answered: father it is a goose not donkey. The priest replied: I did not ask you, I asked the goose.
2- The other day a Mullah went to the doctor. He said: doctor, my beard aches. The doctor asked him: what did you eat for lunch? He replied: I ate bread and ice. The doctor answered back: neither your pain resembles the pains of the people nor your food is like theirs.
3- One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
A Preacher wanted to raise money for his church, and being told that there was
a fortune in horse racing, he decided to purchase one and enter him in the
races.
However at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep that he
decided to buy a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as
well go ahead and enter it in the races and to his surprise, the donkey came
in Third. The next day the racing sheets carried this headline........
PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS
The preacher was so pleased with the donkey, that he entered in the race again
and this time it won. The papers read..........
PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the
preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The newspaper printed this
headline.....
BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS
This was too much for the Bishop and he ordered the preacher to get rid of more...