Disease Jokes / Recent Jokes
Guyness QuizTake This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: a. Present it to the president of the United States. b. Present it to the secretary general of the United Nations. c. Take it apart. 2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most? a. Innocence. b. Idealism. c. Cherry bombs. 3. When is it okay to kiss another male? a. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions. b. When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)c. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and more...
An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and doe not use a condom all the time.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.
The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tell the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it."
The man looks a little perplexed and says: "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc".
The doctor answers: "I'm sorry, there is no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis".
The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion".
The doctor replies: more...
An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While there he's quite sexually
promiscuous and takes no precautions. A week after arriving back home in the
States, he awakes one morning to find his privates covered with bright green
and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see his doctor. The
doctor has never seen anything like it and orders tests. He tells the man to
return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later
and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted what's
known as Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of in the States.
We know very little about it." The man looks a little relieved and says,
"Well, okay, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc." The doctor
answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate
your penis."
The man screams in horror, "Oh no! I want a second opinion!". The more...
A couple of weeks ago the clouds over western Washington were moving to the west. Normally they head east, inland over the mountains to central Washington and beyond.
Scientists blamed the switch on mad cloud disease.
A woman in her mid-20s goes to her doctor, Dr. Lee, for advice. She says, "I just don't understand doctor, I'm a woman in my mid-20s and I don't have a boyfriend. No one's even interested." Dr. Lee says, "Ok, I sink I know what your probrem is. Take all your crothes." After she removes her clothes, Dr. Lee says, "Ok, now get down on hand and knee." She does that and Dr. Lee says, "Ok, now crawr away from me...now crawr back." She complies and Dr. Lee says, "I sink I know your probrem. You have Ed Zachary disease." The woman asks what Ed Zachary disease is and Dr. Lee replies, "Your face look Ed Zachary rike your a$$."
Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.
Q: Why do blondes drive VW's
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!
Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A1 So brunettes can remember them.
A2 Because blondes are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.
Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde? ???
A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children!
Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: Why did more...
Did you hear about the new Polish disease? It`s called athletes hand.