Disease Jokes / Recent Jokes
Feminists are protesting the designation, "mad cow disease," arguing that if a cow becomes mad it is because of something the bull said or did.
Two cows looking over a gate. One says to the other, "What do you think about this mad cow disease?"
The other cow looks over and replies, "Why should I care? I'm a helicopter."
This middle-aged guy wakes up one morning and notices that his eyes are bulging and his ears are protruding. He becomes very concerned. So he goes to his doctor and asks him what is wrong with him. The doctor told him that he has a rare disease that will require him to take this medication for several months to clear up the disease, however the medication will make his hair fall out permanently.
Several months later the guy's eyes are still bulging and his ears are still protruding - more so now that his hair is gone. So this time he goes to a different doctor who informs him that he has a prostate problem and that they will have to remove his testicles. So the guy has the surgery only to find out months later, his eyes are still bulging and his ears are still protruding.
Determined to find out what is wrong with him he goes to another doctor who tells him that the nerves in his hands are pinching the nerve endings in his ears and his eyes and the only way to resolve the more...
Are You a Guy?
Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient
Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:
Present it to the president of the United States.
Present it to the secretary general of the United Nations.
Take it apart.
As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?
Innocence.
Idealism.
Cherry bombs.
When is it okay to kiss another male?
When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)
When he is your brother and more...
Good news for aging hippies: Smoking pot may stave off Alzheimer's disease. New research shows that the active ingredient in marijuana may prevent the progression of the disease by preserving levels of an important neurotransmitter that allows the brain to function. Oddly enough the test subjects who smoked pot consistently for the past 50 years showed no signs of Alzheimers disease but ironically still couldn’t remember shit!
Q: What is the most common disease transmitted by Jewish Mothers? A: Guilt.