Disappeared Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mrs. Jones was suddenly ill in the night, and a new doctor was called. After a look at the patient, the doctor stepped outside the sick room to ask Mr. Jones for a corkscrew. Given the tool, he disappeared but several minutes later was back demanding a pair of pliers. Again, he disappeared into the room of the moaning patient, only to call out again, "A chisel and a mallet, quickly."

Mr. Jones could stand it no longer. "What is her trouble, doctor?"

"Don't know yet," was the reply. "Can't get my instrument bag open."

Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and Santa, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the Pearly Gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.
"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, therefore St Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."
The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings," With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.
The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most more...

Three friends were stranded on an island. One day, a magic lamp washed ashore and a magic genie popped out. He said, "i'll
Give each of you one wish." the 1st man said "i want to go back home"... he disappeared. The 2nd man said "i also want to go
Home"... he also disappeared. The third man looked around and felt lonely. He said, "i want my 2 friends back to keep me
Company"!

A man went to a doctor to have his penis enlarged. Well, this particular procedure involved splicing a baby elephant's trunk onto the man's penis.
Overjoyed, the man went out with his best girl to a very fancy restaurant. After cocktails, the man's penis crept out of his pants, felt around the table, grabbed a hard roll and quickly disappeared under the tablecloth.
The girl was startled and exclaimed, "What was that?"
Suddenly, the penis came back, took another hard roll and just as quickly disappeared.
The girl was silent for a moment, then finally said, "I don't believe I saw what I think I just saw... Can you do that again?"
With a bit of an uncomfortable smile the man replied, "Honey, I'd like to, but I don't think my ass can take another hard roll!"

A man went to a doctor to have his penis enlarged. Well, this particular procedure involved splicing a baby elephant's trunk onto the man's penis.Overjoyed, the man went out with his best girl to a very fancy restaurant. After cocktails, the man's penis crept out of his pants, felt around the table, grabbed a hard roll and quickly disappeared under the tablecloth.The girl was startled and exclaimed, "What was that?"Suddenly, the penis came back, took another hard roll and just as quickly disappeared.The girl was silent for a moment, then finally said, "I don't believe I saw what I think I just saw... Can you do that again?"With a bit of an uncomfortable smile the man replied, "Honey, I'd like to, but I don't think my ass can take another hard roll!"

A philosopher once had the following dream.First Aristotle appeared, and the philosopher said to him, "Could you give me a fifteen-minute capsule sketch of your entire philosophy?" To the philosopher's surprise, Aristotle gave him an excellent exposition in which he compressed an enormous amount of material into a mere fifteen minutes. But then the philosopher raised a certain objection which Aristotle couldn't answer. Confounded, Aristotle disappeared.Then Plato appeared. The same thing happened again, and the philosophers' objection to Plato was the same as his objection to Aristotle. Plato also couldn't answer it and disappeared.Then all the famous philosophers of history appeared one-by-one and our philosopher refuted every one with the same objection.After the last philosopher vanished, our philosopher said to himself, "I know I'm asleep and dreaming all this. Yet I've found a universal refutation for all philosophical systems! Tomorrow when I wake up, I will more...

A philosopher once had the following dream.First Aristotle appeared, and the philosopher said to him, "Could you give me a fifteen-minute capsule sketch of your entire philosophy?" To the philosopher`s surprise, Aristotle gave him an excellent exposition in which he compressed an enormous amount of material into a mere fifteen minutes. But then the philosopher raised a certain objection which Aristotle couldn`t answer. Confounded, Aristotle disappeared.Then Plato appeared. The same thing happened again, and the philosophers` objection to Plato was the same as his objection to Aristotle. Plato also couldn`t answer it and disappeared.Then all the famous philosophers of history appeared one-by-one and our philosopher refuted every one with the same objection.After the last philosopher vanished, our philosopher said to himself, "I know I`m asleep and dreaming all this. Yet I`ve found a universal refutation for all philosophical systems! Tomorrow when I wake up, I will more...