Dildo Jokes

A husband had to leave town on a buisness trip his wife was the flirtatious type so he thought about buying an infatable doll but that was too close to another man for him so he went to a adult toy store and talked to the old man behind the counter. The old man said well I really shouldnt show you this but ok....he bought out this box with all these stange looking symbols on it and inside lay a very ordinary looking dildo. The man was like
"That is like every other dildo in here."
The old man said well you have mot seen what it can do..he pointed to the door and said "voodo dick, the door" the dildo rose up out of the box shot towards the door and started banging the heck out of the keyhole, before it could split down the middle the old man said "voodo dick back to the box." the dildo stopped banging the keyhole and floted back to the box. The husband was so amazed he intantly offered the old man all his money and the old man accepted. He told the more...

Once upon a time, there once was a traveling salesman who's wife was a well known sex addict. But because the man could not be home all of the time, he often worried about his wife's faithfulness. He had noticed that she had been eyeing the young neighbor boy who cut their lawn recently. So one day the man decided to try to do something about this. After work the man entered a sexual aid shop and asked the owner to show him the selection of dildos.
"Why yes, of course." said the owner, "We have a very wide selection."
But after looking for quite a long time, the man just did not find anything that satisfied him.
"Well, maybe I have just what you need." remarked the owner, "Wait here."
And with that, the owner ran into the back and started digging around for quite some time. After about twenty minutes, the owner finally came out carrying a strange, rectangular box with ancient writing all over it. He set the box down on the more...

A
rich man and a poor man are talking about what they
gave their wives for Valentine's Day. The rich man
says "I got my wife a Mercedes and a 3 CRT. diamond
ring." The poor man says "Why did you get her both?"
"Because if she doesn't like one she always has the other...what did you get
your wife?" The poor man replies, "I got her slippers and a dildo." The rich
man says "Why did you get her a dildo?" The poor man says, "So if she doesn't
like the slippers, she can go f*ck herself."

This guy just started at his new job, working at a porno shop. His boss comes out and tells him that he has to leave for a while, and "can you handle it?"
The new employee is somewhat reluctant, but with the boss's positive comments he finally agrees. So, the guy is there by himself for a little while and a white woman comes in. She asks;
"How much for the white dildo?"
He answers, "$35."
She, "How much for the black one?"
He, "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one."
She, "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before." She pays him, and off she goes.
A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks;
"How much for the black dildo?"
He, "$35."
She, "How much for the white one?"
He, "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one."
She, "I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white one more...

One day the owner of a porno store goes out for a while, leaving the shop to his
salesman. Soon a woman goes into the porno shop.
She asks, "How much for the white dildo?"
The Shopkeeper answers, "$35."
She: "How much for the black one?"
He: "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one."
She: "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before."
She pays him, and off she goes.
A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks, "How much for the black
dildo?"
He: "$35."
She: "How much for the white one?"
He: "$35 for the white one, $35 for the black one."
She: "Hmmm... I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white one
before..."
She pays him, and off she goes.
About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks, "How much are your
dildos?"
He: "$35 for the white, $35 more...