Dictator Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bush: Whiskers No Longer a Threat to U.S.

The search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq came to an end today as U.S. military officials found chemical, biological and nuclear weapons hidden in the scraggly beard of former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein.

The Iraqi madman had instructed his weapons scientists to create the WMD in microscopic form so that he could carry them around on his person at all times, the officials said.

U.S. General Ricardo Sanchez said that the discovery of WMD nestled in Saddam's unkempt facial hair closes the book on one of Operation Iraqi Freedom's most enduring mysteries.

"Now we know why we never found the weapons of mass destruction," General Sanchez told reporters. "We never dreamed they were tiny enough to be hidden on someone's face."

The general added that Saddam was capable of launching his deadly weapons cache merely by shaking his head.

After he was captured, more...

Three tourists were traveling in South America: an Irishman, a Frenchman and a blond American. They all found themselves in a bar in a small Latin American country which was ruled by a strict dictator. As luck would have it, they got into an argument and a bar fight soon started. The local military police arrived and arrested them. At their trial before a tribunal, they learned their luck was even worse than they had thought. The bar was owned by the brother of the dictator. The three of them were promptly sentenced to five years in solitary confinement. Before they were taken away to prison, the judge said, "You are foreigners to our country. I will grant you each one favor. You may choose one item to help you pass the time in our prison. What do you wish for?" The Irishman asked for a five years supply of fine Irish whiskey. The Frenchman asked for a five year supply of fine French wine. The blond American requests a five year supply of cigarettes. The judge grants all more...

What do you get when you cross a ridiculous, face-fur mustache with Adolph Hitler?

A dictator afraid of the shadow beneath his nose.