Deserted Jokes / Recent Jokes
There is a ship that goes out to sea and crashes. 6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive and use a safety raft to float to a deserted island. After spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely, sexually deprived lonely. So they come to this agreement: each man will marry the one woman for a week. So the first man has her for one week, then the second man has her for the second week, and on. Everyone will now be getting sex and they all agree to it. This goes on for five years and everyone is happy. Each man gets sex every fifth week and the woman gets to have sex whenever she wants with a different man each week. Well, a few weeks into the fifth year, the woman dies!!! The first week is pretty bad, the second week is still pretty bad, the third week it's getting worse, the fourth week things are just bad, really bad, the fifth week it is just awful, it's getting so bad, so on the sixth week... They bury her.
Q: You're stranded in a deserted island with Attila the Hun, Adolf Hitler, and a lawyer. You have a revolver with two bullets. What do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice!
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a deserted island together. The island is 20 miles from the nearest inhabited island so they all decide to try to swim there. The redhead makes it 10 miles, is exhausted, gives up, and drowns. The brunette makes it 15 miles before shes too tired to go any farther and drowns. The blonde gets 19 miles away from the deserted island, decides shes too tired to go any farther, and swims all the way back to the deserted island.
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it really is dead.
2. If appliances start to operate by themselves, move out!
3. Don't ever read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as ajoke.
4. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
5. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're absolutely sure you know what you're doing.
6. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to call for help.
7. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as glowing eyes, fascination for blood, increased hairiness, etc., get away from them as quickly as possible.
8. If you come across a town that apears to be deserted, it's probably deserted for a reason. Take the hint and keep away.
9. Check the back seat of your car before getting in it.
A nun is walking down a deserted road when a man grabs her and starts raping her. After the rapist is done, he says, "Hey Sister, what are you going to tell the other Sisters now?" "I'll tell them the truth, that you grabbed me, threw me to the ground, and raped me twice.... unless you're tired." she responded.
On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman
2 New Zealand men and 1 New Zealand woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
One month later, the following things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together having loads of sex.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule as to when they alternate with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for more...
On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
* 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
* 2 French men and 1 French woman
* 2 German men and 1 German woman
* 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
* 2 English men and 1 English woman
* 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
* 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
* 2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman
* 2 New Zealander men and 1 New Zealander woman
* 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
* 2 American men and 1 American woman
One month later, the following things have occurred...
* One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
* The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.
* The two German men keep a strict weekly schedule of when each is allowed to spend time with the German woman.
*The two Greek men have the Greek woman cooking and cleaning for them.
* The two English men are waiting for someone to more...