Daisy Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    There's a man with three daughters.
    The first daughter(a Brunette) comes up and says "Daddy why'd you name me Daisy" the dad says" 'cause when you were born a daisy fell on your head."
    The second daughter (a red-head) comes up and says "Daddy why'd you name me Rose" the dad says "'cause when you were born a rose fell on your head."
    The third daughter (a blonde) comes up and says "kjaglifvgjlfj" the dad says "SHUTUP CINDERBLOCK"

    A man sat quietly reading his morning paper one Sunday morning. Suddenly, he is knocked almost senseless by his wife, who stands behind him holding a frying pan in hand.

    Man: "What was that for?"

    Wife: "Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with "Daisy" written on it?"

    Man: "Oh honey, don't you remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Daisy was the name of the horse I bet on."

    The wife was satisfied, and apologized for bonking him. Three days later he is again sitting reading the paper when once again he is bonked on the head.

    Man: "What's that for this time?"

    Wife: "Your horse called."

    In a happy little farm out in the countryside, a cow and her daughters were gathered.
    "Mommy, why am I called Daisy?" the oldest daughter asked.
    "Because a daisy fell on your head when you were born," the mother replied.
    "Mommy, why am I called Rose?" the second-oldest daughter asked.
    "Because a rose fell on your head when you were born." the mother answered.
    "Wagfuryhlff!" the youngest daughter exclaimed.
    "Quiet, Cinderblock!"

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Daisy!
    Daisy who?
    Daisy plays, nights he sleeps!

    "SBF( single, black, female) Seeks Male companionship. Age and ethnicity unimportant. I'm a young, svelte, good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting/camping/fishing trips. I love cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours."Call 555-2525 and ask for Daisy.The phone number was that of the Humane Society, and Daisy was an eight week old black Labrador retriever. They received 643 calls in two days.

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