Daisy Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Pacific cruise liner sinks leaving only 3 survivors David, Darren and Daisy. They swim to a small island where they live for a couple of years doing what comes naturally, but, Daisy feels so guilty about having sex with both men, she kills herself. Sad for David and Darren but they get over it and agian nature takes its course.
After a couple more years the the lads feel really bad about what they are doing so they bury her.

"SBF( single, black, female) Seeks Male companionship. Age and ethnicity unimportant. I'm a young, svelte, good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting/camping/fishing trips. I love cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours."Call 555-2525 and ask for Daisy.The phone number was that of the Humane Society, and Daisy was an eight week old black Labrador retriever. They received 643 calls in two days.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I`ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"


Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?


Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly,
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don`t believe you," said Dolly.
"It`s true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

A little girl went up to her father and asked, "Daddy, why is my name Rose?" Her dad answered, "When you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." A second daughter came up and asked, "Daddy, why was I named Daisy?" He answered, "Because a daisy petal fell on your head when you were born." As the sisters walked away they came across their brother who goes "der der...d-duh.." Their father yells, "Shutup, Cinderblock!!"

A first grade teacher, Miss Daisy, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asks, "Johnny! What is your problem?"
Little Johnny says, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade!"
Miss Daisy had enough. She took Little Johnny to the principal's office. While Little Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his own questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave.
The teacher agreed. Little Johnny is brought in the room. The principal tells Little Johnny and he agrees.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Little Johnny: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Little Johnny: "36"
Principal: "What is 9 x 9?" Little Johnny: more...

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Daisy who?
Daisy that you are in, but I don't believe them. Knock Knock
Who's there!
Daisy who?
Daisy plays, nights he sleeps!

One day a priest decides to visit a school.
He walks through the playground where the kids are out playing.
He decides to talk to some so he walks up to a little girl and asks for her name.
The little girl replies "Rose".
"Thats a nice name", said the priest "how did you get it".
The little girl says "The first time i went out with my mommy a rose fell onto my head so she called me rose".
"Thats nice" said the priest who moves onto another little girl.
"Hello whats your name" says the priest
The second little girl replies"Daisy"
"Thats a nice name" said the priest "How did you get it?"
The girl replies
"The first time my mommy took me out a daisy fell onto my head so she called me daisy"
"Very nice" says the priest who decides to move onto the next child.
He sees a young boy playing by himself in the corner so he goes over to more...