Confusion Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What's the definition of mass confusion?
A: A blind lesbian at a fish market.
Standardized Guide to the Bases Do you remember middle school/junior high/high school? If so, do you remember talking about 'the bases' with your friends?"Yeah man, at the dance, X and Y went behind the gym and they got tosecond base!"Well that was cool and all, but what the hell was secondbase? Tongue kissing? Up the shirt? Noone was really sure. Also, thebases tended to get progressively more intense as you got older. What's aperson to do? Here, we mourn the passing of using baseball ananlogies to describesexual activity. But let's face it, there are more than four stages intodays day and age of sex play. So, in the interests of both bringingbaseball sex metaphors in line with the complications of modern romanceand with standardizing the bases, we present the Standardized Guide to theBases.First, let's examine what the bases could have meant in the old days. -First Base- This was almost always kissing, although one guyI knew thought it meant holding hands. Sometimes it was more...
Three women were being held in a foreign country. They were slated for the firing squad.
The commander yells, "Ready...Aim..." and the brunette yells "Earthquake!!!"
Immediately the soldiers fall to the ground and in the confusion the brunette escapes.
The commander then tells his soldiers to get up. "Ready...Aim..." and the redhead yells "Tornado!!!"
Immediately the soldiers fall to the ground and in the confusion the redhead escapes.
The commander then yells to his soldiers to get up. "Ready...Aim..." and the blonde yells "Fire!!!"
Three women were being held in a foreign country. They were slated for the firing squad.The commander yells, "Ready...Aim..." and the brunette yells "Earthquake!!!"Immediately the soldiers fall to the ground and in the confusion the brunette escapes.The commander then tells his soldiers to get up. "Ready...Aim..." and the redhead yells "Tornado!!!"Immediately the soldiers fall to the ground and in the confusion the redhead escapes.The commander then yells to his soldiers to get up. "Ready...Aim..." and the blonde yells "Fire!!!"
Q: How do you define confusion? A: A blind lesbian in a fish market!
Well, it seems that these three fellows, an American, a German and a
[ethnic], are about to be executed in front of a firing squad. As the
final hour approachs, each man is trying to think of a way to escape his
inevitable doom. The time comes for the execution and the American is
brought first in front of the firing squad. As the blindfold is being tied
around his head, he decides that he will attempt his escape by diverting
the attention of his executioners at the final moment, and then running
away.
The officer in charge of the executions starts his countdown: "10, 9, 8,... "
Just before the officer reaches "1," the American shouts,
"Flood!"
Startled, all of the gunmen look up from their rifles and turn around
searching for the onrush of water. In all of this confusion, the American
manages to take off his blindfold and run away. By the time the
executioners are aware of what happened, the more...