Therefore Jokes

A couple seated in a Chicago restaurant noticed that all the waiters carried two spoons in their vest pocket. Curious, the man asked their waiter the reason for this.
"Well, sir," the waiter explained, "an efficiency study conducted by management determined that the most frequently dropped silverware item is a spoon. Therefore, all waiters carry two spoons so that the item can be instantly replaced."
As the waiter was offering the explanation to the couple, they noticed there was a string hanging out of the fly of his pants. "What about that?" the man asked, discreetly pointing to the string.
"That, sir, is the result of another efficiency study," the waiter replied. "When we need to go to the bathroom, we use the string to pull ourselves out and aim. Therefore, we do not have to stop to wash our hands."
"We understand how you can get yourself out and aim," the man said, "but how do you go about getting more...

A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."
The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine."
Then, the lawyer spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.
A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource more...

A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine."Then, the lawyer spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"

sorry this really isnt ablonde joke but these are the only jokes people read and this is a hilarious joke.
One day this teacher was teaching about GOD. She asked Tommy to come and answer a few question in front of the class. Tommy said sure.
The teacher asked, "
Can you see the chair?"
Tommy replied, "
YES"
Then the teacher asked, "
Can you see the tree out side."
Tommy said "
yes"
Then the teacher asked, "
can you see the god?"
Tommy said "
no"
The teacher finished with "
so you cant see it, so therefore he is not there."
Then Amy asked hte teacher if she could ask tommy a few questions herself.
Teacher said "
sure"
So Amy asked tommy if he could see the tree outside.
Tommy getting annoyed said "
YAHH"
Then amy asked "
Tommy, do you see the teacher?
Tommy replied "
YES"
Then amy more...