Cinderella Jokes / Recent Jokes

Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said:' Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?'The Fairy Godmother replied:' Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?'Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish.' I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension.' Instantly her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Cinderella said' Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother!' The Fairy Godmother replied' It is the least I can do. What is your second wish?' Cinderella looked down at her frail body and more...

The story takes off where Cinderella just got yelled at by her step-mother, then her fairy godmother comes to her aid. The fairy godmother says, "I can make you a new dress and give you everything you need to go to the ball... on two conditions!""Anything, " says Cinderella, "anything!""Okay the first condition is you have to wear a diaphram. The second condition is you have to be back by 2: 00 AM or else your diaphram will turn into a pumpkin," says the fairy godmother. So Cinderella goes to the ball and the fairy godmother just waits and waits and then it gets to be 2: 00AM, 3: 00, 4: 00, 5: 00 and Cinderella's still not back. Then Cinderella finally shows up and the fairy godmother is astonished as to Cinderella's appearence... no pumpkin! The godmother asks Cinderella who she was with for she had no idea of a man with such power. Then Cinderella replies, "Peter, Peter something or other?"

Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.

One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother.

Cinderella said "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?"

The Fairy Godmother replied "Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"

Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish "I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension." Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned.

Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, more...

Age 8:
Looks at herself and sees Cinderella / Sleeping Beauty etc.
Age 15:
Looks at herself and sees Cinderella / Sleeping Beauty / Cheerleader or if she is PMS'ing: sees Fat / Pimples / UGLY ("Mom, I can't go to school looking like this!")
Age 20:
Looks at herself and sees "too fat / too thin, too short/ too tall, too straight / too curly" - but decides she's going anyway.
Age 30:
Looks at herself and sees "too fat / too thin, too short / too tall, too straight / too curly" - but decides she doesn't have time to fix it so she's going anyway.
Age 40:
Looks at herself and sees "too fat / too thin, too short / too tall, too straight / too curly" - but says, "At least, I'm clean," and goes anyway.
Age 50:
Looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes where ever she wants to.
Age 60:
Looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror more...

Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team?
She kept running away from the ball!!

What's a true Cinderella? A woman who sucks and fucks all night long, and at midnight she turns into a six-pack of beer and a ham sandwich.
Not to be confused with a "total woman". That's a woman with a Black & Decker vibrator with a kick starter.

The story takes off where Cinderella just got yelled at by her step-mother, then her fairy godmother comes to her aid.
The fairy godmother says, "I can make you a new dress and give you everything you need to go to the ball... on two conditions!"
"Anything, " says Cinderella, "anything!"
"Okay the first condition is you have to wear a diaphram. The second condition is you have to be back by 2:00 AM or else your diaphram will turn into a pumpkin," says the fairy godmother.
So Cinderella goes to the ball and the fairy godmother just waits and waits and then it gets to be 2:00AM, 3:00, 4:00, 5:00 and Cinderella's still not back. Then Cinderella finally shows up and the fairy godmother is astonished as to Cinderella's appearence... no pumpkin!
The godmother asks Cinderella who she was with for she had no idea of a man with such power.
Then Cinderella replies, "Peter, Peter something or other?"