Chores Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was once a boy with a speech problem who had loved doing chores for his mother. One day his mother had sent him to town with a list of chores to do for her. His mother made sure to call all the stores that her son would go to so that they would know what he would want.
First, the boy set out to the hardware store and asked the clerk for a fuckit
The clerk said, Yes, your mother called you want a bucket!
Then, the boy went to the local bakery and asked the clerk for a bum
The clerk said, That's right your mother called and you want a bun!
Then, the boy set out for his treat. He went to the local pet shop and asked the clerk for a cockand spankit
The clerk said, Oh yeah, your mother called and you want a cocker spaniel!
The boy left the pet shop with the bucket and bun in one hand and the cocker spaniel in the other. The cocker spaniel wiggled until he got loose and ran away.
The boy say an old woman who was walking by and asked her, Can you hold my more...
One day a little boy woke up and sat down at the table expecting
breakfast. However, his mother says, "You don't get any breakfast until
you do your chores."
A little ticked off, the boy goes out to do his chores. When he goes to
milk the cow, he kicks it.
When he goes to get eggs he kicks a chicken, and when he goes to feed the
pigs, he kicks one of them.
When the little boy sits down his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"Where is the bacon, eggs and milk?" asks the little boy.
His mother replies, "I saw you kick the cow, so you don't get any milk; I
saw you kick a chicken so you don't get eggs; and I saw you kick a pig so
you don't get any bacon!"
Just as she finishes saying this, the boy's father comes down the stairs
and kicks the cat.
The little boy looks up at his mother and asks, "Do you want to tell him,
or should I?"
A little boy came down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores. “Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. “How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks.
“Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, either. I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk this morning.”
Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a more...
A famer got up for breakfast, his wife was bent over at the kitchen table. The farmer said to his wife, "Honey, your but is bigger than a four row corn picker."
The wife does not say anything. The farmer gets up after finishing his breakfast and heads out for the morning chores. Upon coming in for lunch his wife is bent over picking up something on the floor. The farmer says to his wife, "Ya know honey, I thought about it all morning and your butt is so big it is bigger than a 6 row corn picker."
Once again, the farmers wife says nothing. The farmer leaves the lunch table to do his afternoon chores. At dinner he comes in and his wife is bent over at the kitchen sink doing dishes. The farmer says to his wife, "Honey I thought about it all afternoon. Your butt is so big it is bigger than an 8 row corn picker."
Again, the wife says nothing. They have a nice dinner and she picks up the dishes and cleans the kitchen up. The farmer is in the more...