Chores Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little boy sits down at the breakfast table. Since he lives on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores. "No, not yet," he replies. His mother tells him that he can't have any breakfast until his chores are done.
He gets pissed and stomps off. He goes to feed the chickens and kicks one. He goes to feed the cows and kicks a cow. Then, he goes to feed the pigs and kicks a pig.
He goes back to the table and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"Why don't I get any bacon and eggs? Why isn't there any milk in my cereal," he asks.
"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs. I saw you kick a pig, so you don't get any bacon either. I also saw you kick a cow, so there's no milk for you this morning."
Just then, his father enters the kitchen and kicks the cat out of his way.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a grin and says, "So, mom, are you going to tell him, or more...

My friend's husband always teases her about her lack of interest in household chores.
One day he came home with a gag gift, a refrigerator magnet, that read: "Martha Stewart doesn't live here."
The next day he came home to find the magnet holding up a slip of paper.
The note read, "Neither does Bob Vila."

A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning. His mother asks, "Have you done your chores yet?"
"No," replies the boy, "but could I have breakfast first?"
"You know the rules, go outside and clean the chicken coop, milk the cow and feed the pigs."
The boy goes down to the chicken coop and lazily cleans it. When he is finished he he kicks a chicken. Next, we walks to the barn and takes out the old milking cow. After milking her thoroughly, he kicks her. Then the boy gets the food and feeds the pigs. Once he is done he kicks a pig.
Finally, the boy runs back to his house, very hungry. His mother gives him a plate with nothing on it but an apple. Disappointed, the boy says, "Where's my eggs, my milk and my sausage?"
"Well," says his mother, "I saw you kick a chicken, so now you don't get eggs. I saw you kick the cow, so now you don't get milk. I saw you kick the pig, so now you don't get any more...