Charlie Jokes / Recent Jokes

Joe was sitting in his favorite bar having a few beers after work, when a beautiful woman sat down next to him. She looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite place her." Hi, Joe", she said. "I haven't seen you in a long time." Joe was puzzled. "Charlie, is that you?" What are you doing dressed up like a woman?" "Well, Joe. It's a long story, but the bottom line is that I always felt like a woman trapped in a man's body, so I finally decided to do something about it. After a number of operations, I am now a woman." Joe was initially shocked, but after admiring Charlie's breasts, he said, "Damn, Charlie, I bet it was pretty painful to have those implants put in." "Yeah, but that wasn't the most painful part." Joe's gaze lowered, and he got a sick feeling in his stomach. "Oh shit. You mean you had your penis and testicles cut off? I bet that was awful." "Yes, that was pretty painful, but that wasn't the more...

My six-year-old grandson called his mother from his friend Charlie's house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room. "But, Mom," he said, brightening, "you don't have to worry about buying another one. Charlie's mother said it was irreplaceable."

The Six-pack Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."
Bill says, "OK, I`m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I`ll do it." 2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack.
Charlie says, "Where did you get that, Bill?" "Steve`s wife gave it to me."
"That`s unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"
Bill says,"Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, `You must be Steve`s widow.`"
She said, "`No, I`m not a widow."
And I said, "Wanna bet me a six-pack?"

Do you remember the Charlie Brown specials that taught valuable life lessons to a generation of kids? Well here are some new episodes: Peanuts specials for kids of the 90's: We learn about VD in:"IT BURNS WHEN I PEE, CHARLIE BROWN"Charlie and the little redheaded girl learn about unwanted pregnancy in:"I'M STARTING TO SHOW, CHARLIE BROWN!"Is Linus gay?" ITS A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN"Charlie moves back to his house in East L. A in:"OYE! VATO! QUE PASA, CARLITO MORENO?" See how the Peanuts Gang deals with date rape in:"NO MEANS NO, CHARLIE BROWN!"Franklin speaks! The Peanuts gang gets a lesson in Ebonics in:"IMO BUSTA CAP INYO ASS, CHARLIE BROWN"What goes on the mind of a serial killer? Discover the inner workings of Pig Pen's twisted psyche and meet his murderous alter ego "Mr. Clean" in:"GOD TOLD ME TO DO IT, CHARLIE BROWN"Schroder teaches the Peanuts gang about getting high in:"ROLL US more...

Young Charlie to dentists sexy chariside assistant "Aha! Are you the lady orthodontist? ". The lady replied "No, but Ill straighten anyones teeth "

Back 75 years ago everyone rode the trains if they wanted to go somewhere. The ticket was just a little card of a thing, smaller and thicker in weight than a business card. Uncle John, with his brothers Charlie and Dan were taking a trip. In those days men *always* wore hats, not those baseball or "gimme" cap like men and boys wear today.
It was considered correct to just stick the ticket in the hat-band with the destination showing, and the conductor could later tell the passenger that his station was next.
Sometime during the journey Uncle John, skamp that he was, lifted Uncle Charlie's ticket and put it in his own pocket. Later he said to Charlie, "Charlie, where is your ticket?" All three "searched" for it, but of course no one found it. So Uncle Johny said, "Charlie, you had better hide under the seat and we will sort of cover you with our legs and the conductor will not see you."
So they rode on, Uncles Johny and Dan sitting more...

Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are splitting up again. It’s reported that Denise is seeking full legal custody of both kids, while Charlie is seeking filthy whores.