Argument Jokes

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defence.

After years of nagging, the wife was finally going deer hunting with her husband. "I'll drop you off here and go park the car. Don't get into trouble". says her husband.
He drove the car down the road and parked it. Walkin gback he could hear a heated argument between his wife and some man.
"It's my deer. I shot it!" he could hear his wife shouting.
The man's voice kept insisting... "That's not your deer, lady"
The husband started walking faster. His wife said "It is TOO my deer. I shot it and it's mine."
"No it's not" said the man.
The argument got louder and louder with his wife shouting about her killing her first deer.
Finally, the weary voice of the man was heard admitting defeat.
"Okay, lady, it's YOUR deer. Just let me get the saddle off it!"

A man and his wife were driving through the beautiful Welsh countryside one day
when they came across a roadsign which read
''Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch'' (The longest town-
name in the world). The husband says the name and his wife laughs. ''That's not
how you pronounce it'', she says and proceeds to say it herself. Her husband
nearly crashes the car laughing and they start debating how to pronounce the
name.
Well the debate soon becomes an argument and coming up to lunchtime they pull
into a restaurant in the town whose name is the subject of the argument. As
they're settling their bill, the wife says to the cashier, ''Excuse me, but
would you mind settling an argument between my huband and me? Could you
possibly pronounce the name of where we are, only please do it very very
slowly''.
The cashier leans forward and more...

NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20 even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need because it's on sale.
BATHROOMS:
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any more...