Challenged Jokes / Recent Jokes

How to be Politically Correct when talking about Men (Or Army Men)

He does not have a beer gut…
He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.(regular guys)
He has a personal war reserve stock.(army guys)

He is not quiet…
He is a Conversational Minimalist.
He is a SAMS grad.

He is not stupid…
He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.
He is a field grade.

He does not get lost all the time…
He discovers Alternative Destinations.
He gets temporarily misoriented.

He is not balding…
He is in Follicle Regression.
He has a REALLY squared away high and tight.

He is not a cradle robber…
He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.
He is breaking the new fraternization policies.

He does not get falling-down drunk…
He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.
He practices his IMTs in the club.

He is not short…
He more...

We have all been through job interviews, and we have spent most of the time thinking of what not to do that might make us look bad. Some job applicants however go light years beyond this. What follows is a survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations who were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. What follows is an unbelievable list of what we can only call "the lowlights." 1. Said he was so well qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would show that the company's management was incompetent. 2. Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application. 3. Brought her large dog to the interview. 4. Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles. 5. Candidate kept giggling through a serious interview. 6. She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time. 7. Bald candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece. 8. Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle. more...

Carols For the Psycho Challenged
SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do You Hear What I Hear?
DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas
MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...
PARANOID: Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me
PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle more...

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged
Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are
Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me
Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and trees and Fire Hydrants and......
Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get me
Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

In today's era of affirmative action and politically correct
speaking, it is no longer acceptable to say "handicapped" or
"disabled." "Challenged" is now the acceptable term.
Such was the case when a morning radio personality (somewhere
around Maryland) recently reported a traffic jam caused by a
"mechanically challenged" vehicle.
The unfortunate thing about using the word "challenged" when
referring to a disabled person is, it won't change the nature of their
disability, nor is it likely to change peoples' feelings toward them.
Instead, as has happened with so many other words, "challenged" will
take on the new meaning. Twenty years from now, when we say that "a
skier was challenged by an expert slope," we will probably mean that
he broke his leg.

We have all been through job interviews, and we have spent most of the time thinking of what not to do that might make us look bad. Some job applicants however go light years beyond this.
What follows is a survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations who were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. What follows is an unbelievable list of what we can only call "the lowlights."
1. Said he was so well qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would show that the company's management was incompetent.
2. Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.
3. Brought her large dog to the interview.
4. Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.
5. Candidate kept giggling through a serious interview.
6. She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.
7. Bald candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.
8. Applicant more...

We have all been through job interviews, and we have spent most of the time thinking of what not to do that might make us look bad. Some job applicants however go light years beyond this.What follows is a survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations who were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. What follows is an unbelievable list of what we can only call "the lowlights."1. Said he was so well qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would show that the company's management was incompetent.2. Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.3. Brought her large dog to the interview.4. Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.5. Candidate kept giggling through a serious interview.6. She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.7. Bald candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.8. Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.9. Asked more...