Carols Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
    TO: All Employees
    DATE: October 1, 2009

    RE: Gala Christmas Party

    I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

    Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

    Merry Christmas to you and your family,

    Patty



    Company more...

    "Least Popular Christmas Carols" (as sung by the Late Show Carolers)
    As presented on the 12/03/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
    "I Saw Mommy Marry Larry King"
    "Boris the Red-Nosed Yeltsin Had an 86-Proof Nose"
    "Im Searching For the Real Killers With Every Round of Golf I Play"
    "Oh, Hillary, Oh, Hillary, You're Going to Jail for One-to-Three"
    "Influenza, Influenza, Influenza, Influenza"
    "O Little Network CBS How Still We See Thee Lie"
    "Frosty the Crackhead Had a Crack Pipe Full of Crack"
    "I Have an Irregular Heartbeat Pa-Rum-Pum-Pum-Pum"
    "O.J. Is Free Although He's Prob'ly Guilty"
    "Good King Clinton Dropped His Pants in a Cheap Hotel Room"

    December 1stTO: ALL EMPLOYEESI'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.Merry Christmas to you and your family.Patty Lewis - Human Resources DirectorDecember 2ndTO: ALL EMPLOYEESIn no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.Happy Holidays to you and your more...

    A teacher in Atlanta asked her students to write the words to their favorite Christmas Carols.

    She probably got fired for mentioning Christmas in school. Anyway here are some of the humorous lines she received:

    Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly

    We three kings of porridge and tar

    On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me

    Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.

    He's makin a list, chicken and rice.

    Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel.

    With the jelly toast proclaim

    Olive, the other reindeer. (All of the other reindeer)

    Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say

    Sleep in heavenly peas

    In the meadow we can build a snowman, then pretend that he is sparse and brown

    You'll go down in listerine

    Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay

    O come, froggy faithful

    "Least Popular Christmas Carols" (as sung by the Late Show Carolers)
    As presented on the 12/03/96 broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN "I Saw Mommy Marry Larry King" "Boris the Red-Nosed Yeltsin Had an 86-Proof Nose" "Im Searching For the Real Killers With Every Round of Golf I Play" "Oh, Hillary, Oh, Hillary, You're Going to Jail for One-to-Three" "Influenza, Influenza, Influenza, Influenza" "O Little Network CBS How Still We See Thee Lie" "Frosty the Crackhead Had a Crack Pipe Full of Crack" "I Have an Irregular Heartbeat Pa-Rum-Pum-Pum-Pum" "O. J. Is Free Although He's Prob'ly Guilty" "Good King Clinton Dropped His Pants in a Cheap Hotel Room"

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