Buddy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two old guys were fishing in a boat on Lake Michigan. A bottle comes floating by in the current. One codger scoops it up, sees a cork in the top, and yanks it out. A genie pops out in a puff of smoke and says, "You get one wish between the two of you--make it a good one." The old man in the front of the boat yells back to his fishing buddy. "Lemme handle this--I know just what to ask for!"He looks at the genie and says, "We want the whole lake to be turned into ice cold beer!" The genie nods and says, "You got it, boys!"And instantaneously, the whole lake is beer! The old man in the back of the boat throws a life preserver, smacks his buddy up-side the head, and yells out, "You idiot! Why the heck did you do that?" ""Whadaya talking about?" the other fisherman answers. "I thought you'd like a lake-full of beer. What's the problem?" "I do like it... but the problem is... now we gotta piss in the more...

On the 1st day of Christmas AOL gave to me……..
unlimited hours with a flat fee.
On the 2nd day of Christmas AOL gave to me……
2 buddy lists and unlimited hours with a flat fee.
On the 3rd day of Christmas AOL gave to me……
3 Emails, 2 buddy lists and unlimited hours with a flat fee.
On the 4th day of Christmas AOL gave to me…….
4 frozen screens, 3 Emails, 2 buddy lists and unlimited hours with a flat fee.
On the 5th day of Christmas AOL gave to me……
5 Chat Room brawls!!! 4 frozen screens, 3 Emails, 2 buddy lists and unlimited
hours with a flat fee.
On the 6th day of Christmas AOL gave to me……
6 snerts annoying, 5 Chat Room brawls!!! 4 frozen screens, 3 Emails, 2 buddy
lists and unlimited hours with a flat fee.
On the 7th day of Christmas AOL gave to me……
7 hackers hacking, 6 snerts annoying, 5 Chat Room brawls!!! 4 frozen screens, 3
Emails, 2 buddy lists and unlimited hours with a more...

T'was the night before Christmas
I just couldn't sleep.
So I hopped out of bed
and downstairs I did creep.

I went to the kitchen
in search of a bite.
If I filled up my stomach,
perhaps I'd sleep tight.

The cupboard was empty
the fridge, it was bare.
I searched but I couldn't
find food anywhere.

I looked out the window:
Streets covered with snow;
at two in the morning
just where could I go?

I spied my computer,
I just go bootup that.
I'll take me online
for some Christmas Eve chat.

The modem connected
without a delay!
In the blink of an eye,
I'd be chatting away.

But-----no voice bid me "Welcome"
or said: "You've got mail."
And I thought now's a bad time
for my sound card to fail.

My buddy list opened
with not even one name.
Is everyone sleeping?
Well, I'll go play a more...

Two Aliens land in Detroit, next to a Gas station. The Aliens waddle out of their ship and look around. The first thing they see that resembles a being is the Gas pump. The two Aliens approach.
The first one says "Earthling take me to your leader!"
He gets no response.
The first Alien looks at his buddy then addresses the pump again. "Earthling, I said Take me to your leader!"
Still no response.
The first Alien then turns to the second and says, "If this Earthling doesn't show me some respect I'm going to blast him!"
The second Alien replies "O.K. but, I'm just going to stand down on the next block."
The first Alien looks a little puzzled, but waits for the other to waddle to the next block. He then addresses pump a third time.
"Earthling take me to your leader!"
No response.
The Alien then pulls out his ray-gun and shoots the pump. After the explosion the Alien gets up, dusts himself off then more...

T'was the night before Christmas, in Texas, you know.
Way out on the prairie, without any snow.
Asleep in their cabin, were Buddy and Sue,
A dreamin' of Christmas, like me and you.
Not stockings, but boots, at the foot of their bed,
For this was Texas, what more need be said,
When all of a sudden, from out of the still night,
There came such a ruckus, it gave me a fright.
And I saw' cross the prairie, like a shot from a gun,
A loaded up buckboard, come on at a run,
The driver was "Geein" and "Hawin", with a will,
The horses (not reindeer) he drove with such skill.
"Come on there Buck, Poncho, & Prince, to the right,
There'll be plenty of travelin' for you all tonight."
The driver in Levi's and a shirt that was red,
Had a ten-gallon Stetson on top of his head.
As he stepped from the buckboard, he was really a sight,
With his beard and moustache, so curly and white.
As more...

Two Aliens land in Detroit, next to a Gas station. The Aliens waddle out of their ship and look around. The first thing they see that resembles a being is the Gas pump. The two Aliens approach.The first one says "Earthling take me to your leader!"He gets no response.The first Alien looks at his buddy then addresses the pump again. "Earthling, I said Take me to your leader!"Still no response.The first Alien then turns to the second and says, "If this Earthling doesn't show me some respect I'm going to blast him!"The second Alien replies "O.K. but, I'm just going to stand down on the next block."The first Alien looks a little puzzled, but waits for the other to waddle to the next block. He then addresses pump a third time."Earthling take me to your leader!"No response.The Alien then pulls out his ray-gun and shoots the pump. After the explosion the Alien gets up, dusts himself off then goes down the block to his buddy.He then says to the more...

Two Aliens land in Detroit, next to a Gas station. The Aliens waddle out of their ship and looked around. The first thing they see that resembles a being is the Gas pump. The two Aliens approach.
The first one says "Earthling take me to your leader!" He gets no response.
The first Alien looks at his buddy then addresses the pump again. "Earthling, I said Take me to your leader!" Still no response.
The first Alien then turns to the second and says "If this Earthling doesn't show me some respect I'm going to blast him!"
The second Alien replies "O.K. but, I'm just going to stand down on the next block."
The first Alien looks a little puzzled, but waits for the other to waddle to the next block. He then addresses the pump a third time. "Earthling take me to your leader!" No response.
The Alien then pulls out his ray-gun and shoots the pump.
After the explosion the Alien gets up dusts himself off then goes down more...