Beetles Jokes

Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?
A: Anything you want, it can't hear you.
Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.
Q: What is grey and not there.
A: No elephants.
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant? (Stup-pid, fuul, idyut!)
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
Q: Why did more...

A guy goes to the hardware store to buy some insecticde. He hold up a box and asks the store manager, " Is this stuff good for beetles?" The manager replies, " NO, it'll kill' em"

On the subject of small lodgins in Tokyo comes the small pets...

For 400 yen, Japanese pedestrians can now buy a pair of live, three-inch Kabutomushi (horned beetles) from a vending machine. The four machines in central Japan, previously used for selling fresh vegetables, sell out each day, according to Japanese newspapers, with people travelling over 100 miles to make a purchase. Raising beetles as pets has a long tradition in Japan. Last August, a 36-year-old Japanese company president paid a record 10 million yen (nearly $100,000) for a giant stag beetle

My two favourite anecdotes on this subject demonstrate the difference
between renewable and non-renewable resources. First the non-renewable:
The congregation of a small stone church (in England?) decided that the
stone which formed the step up to the front door had become two worn by its
years of use, and would have to be replaced. Unfortunately, there were hardly
any funds available for the replacement. Then someone came up with the bright
idea that the replacement could be postponed for many years by simply turning
the block of stone over.
They discovered that their great-grandparents had beaten them to it.
Now the renewable:
An entomologist at New College, Oxford ("New" because its only a few
centuries old), discovered beetles infesting the oak beams supporting the roof
of the Great Hall. It was fairly urgent that these be replaced before the roof
collapsed-but anyone who has looked at the price of oak lately can tell more...