Barbara Jokes / Recent Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Barbara!
Barbara who?
Barbara black sheep, have you any wool...!

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500, 000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right. .. but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32, 000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
Is it........
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."
"I think I know who it.. but I'm not 100%...
No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."
(ringing)
Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing more...

Q: What does Barbara Bush do with her old clothes?
A: Wear them.

Tease her about being married to that deadbeat James Brolin
Wear giant sombrero and keep saying, "Senor Pepe no understand"
Threaten to release steamy photos of her and Hugh Downs from Christmas '74
When you don't have an answer, meow like a kitty
Hog the covers (trust me, she hates that)
Call her "Alex," phrase all answers in the form of a question
Tell her she was your favorite Golden Girl
To camera say, "Whoa, Barbara, easy on the gin"
Only rule: Ask a question, remove a piece of clothing
If she's wearing a skirt, compliment her on "The View"
©MMI, CBS Worldwide Inc.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
- Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading."
- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?"
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
- Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
- Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his more...

Knock KnockWhos there! Barbara! Barbara who? Barbara black sheep, have you any wool...!

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his
vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some
cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off."
Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack
has a wife and three kids, I don't know whom to fire."
The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was
the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You
see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?"
Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."