Banta Jokes / Recent Jokes

Banta goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated." The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse`s ass, and blow the pill up there." Banta comes back the next day, and he looks very sick. The vet says, "What happened?" Banta says, "The horse blew first."

Two Punjabi men, Santa Sahib & Banta Sahib, are visiting Madras. Desiring to buy condoms, they enter a medical store and approach the Tamilian shop-keeper.
"Oye! Santa, these chootiya (stupid) Madrasis don't know any Punjabi or Hindustani!" exclaims Banta in Punjabi just before they talk to the Tamilian. "So how will we tell him what we want?"
"Don't worry yaar! Sign language is a universal language! Just do as I do," replies Santa in Punjabi. With that, Santa pulls down his pyjamas, puts his fair penis onto the table & places a Rs 100 note next to it. The South Indian shop-keeper is amused but remains silent. Banta then likewise pulls down his pyjamas, puts his fair penis onto the table & places a Rs 100 note next to it. Grinning widely, the Tamil shop-keeper then pulls down his lungi and places his black penis onto the table, next to the genitals of the two Punjabi Sahibs.
The Dravidian laughs loudly as his one-foot long ebony more...

Two friends Santa Singh and Banta Singh, were always boasting of their parents' achievements to each other.
Santa Singh: "Have you heard of the Suez Canal?"
Banta Singh: "Yes, I have."
Santa Singh: "Well, my father dug it."
Banta Singh: "That's nothing. Have you heard of the Dead Sea?"
Santa Singh: "Yes, I have."
Banta Singh: "Well, my father killed it."

Banta enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
Banta places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave Banta has ever experienced. After a few strokes, Banta asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

Banta was quite inventive and was always trying out new things. One day he thought he'd see just how fast a bicycle could go before it became uncontrollable. He asked his friend, who owned an old Maruti, if he could tie his bike to the bumper of his car to test his theory.
His friend said, "Sure."
So Banta tied his bike to the back of the car and said to his friend, "I'll ring my bike bell once if I want you to go faster, twice if I want you maintain speed, and repeatedly if I want you to slow down."
With that, off they went. Things were going pretty well, with the car driver slowly speeding up to well over 60 kmph. Banta was handling the speed just fine. But, all of sudden, a black Honda came up beside them and before you knew it the fellow driving the Maruti forgot all about Banta and his bicycle and took to drag racing the Honda.
A little further down the road sat Officer Santa in his police cruiser, radar gun at the ready. He heard the two cars more...

Banta's wife, Preeto, and kids all came down with the flu. Upon returning home from the pediatrician's office with his four kids, he turned his attention to his ailing wife.
After preparing some chicken soup for her, he picked up the phone to call her doctor.
The receptionist picked up and he related the situation to her. She then told him that the office was going to be closed for a couple of days, but that his wife could have an appointment in 3 days.
Banta went ballistic and yelled into the phone, "Three days?! The doctor can't see her for three days?! She could be dead by then!"
Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, "If so, would you please call to cancel the appointment?"

Santa Sahib & Banta Sahib have decided to refute the "Small Punjabi Penis" stereotype on their top live "Santa Banta" TV show! To this end, they seek to showcase Punjabi women with well-endowed partners. So both men are standing outside the exit of a ladies' toilet in New Delhi Big Bazaar. Discreetly, they ask every woman coming out about her partner's size & performance. Sadly, all report puny 3-5 inchers & none are pleased.
Finally, just before they give up, the most beautiful Punjabi lady they've seen in weeks comes out, wearing golden sandals & a skin-tight black churidaar shalwaar kameez which emphasizes her curvy buttocks, breasts & legs!
"Behenji (sister), this is a TV survey!" explains Santa. "How large is your husband's Lann (penis) & are you satisfied?"
"Oh yes!" she replies. "He's 12 inches long & I'm VERY happy!"
Overjoyed, they quickly invite her & her husband to their show.
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