Santa Banta Jokes

Everybody knows the famous under creek/sea tunnel joining England and France. Before it`s construction, the tenders were invited from various construction companies by giving newspaper ads throughout the world. Banta Singh came across one such ad and he decided to fill the tender. On the day of opening the tenders everybody was surprised to find Banta Singh`s tender at it`s very lowest. Other tenders were quoting billions of pounds, Banta Sing had offered to do the job for just 10000 pounds. Now, as per the rule Banta was to get the contract. Before giving works order to Banta Singh, the officer asked BantaSingh as to how he could afford to work at such a low budget. Banta Singh said,"look, back home, there is my brother, Santa Singh. I will call him here. We will take two shovels. I will start diging from English bank and Santa Singh will start digging from French bank. The moment we meet, you get a tunnel." The dumbstruck officer asked with courage," and if you don`t more...

Banta goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated." The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse`s ass, and blow the pill up there." Banta comes back the next day, and he looks very sick. The vet says, "What happened?" Banta says, "The horse blew first."

Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with
the tip of his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh
replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your
finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my
face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth
and I thought I just paid Rs. 1, 000 to get my teeth
straightened.
So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this
is going
to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my
other ear
before I pulled the trigger.

One young man went for an IAS Interview.


"When did India get independence? " He was asked.


"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.


"Who was responsible for our independence? "


"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another. " He replied.



"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"


"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.


The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions.

When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave more...

Banta joins the suicide bomber squad, so when he is given a mission to suicide in the enemies camp. His leader supply him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to his body and mobile for communications.
He lands up in the enemy`s camp, called his boss: Sir, there are 2 enemies soldier, can I suicide now?
Leader: No, not for two, wait till you see more soldiers.
Banta: Sir now there are 25 can I do it now?
Boss: Wait for more.
Banta: Sir, now I am in a midst of 100 soldiers, can I suicide now?
Boss: Yes, go ahead, you will be a martyr, don`t worry about your family, we will look after.
Banta pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest.