Banned Jokes / Recent Jokes
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone in the queue a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
Texan prisons have banned convicts on death row from having last cigarette, on the grounds that it is bad for their health. However, to compensate for this, condemned men will instead be permitted to chew a stick of celery.
An American teenager was in hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked about how he received the injuries, the lad told the police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train more...
Why was the hen banned from sending e-mails? She was always using fowl language.
Top ten reasons why the movie "Bombay" should be banned in Bombay:
10. The Hero and Heroine fall in love without first having a fight
9. The Hero doesn`t sing "mere pyaari behana" to his sister, neither
does she get raped nor does she get married off to some goon who ill
treats her.
8. The Hero actually asks the Heroine to elope with him instead of
confronting her father and finally winning him over.
7. The Hero`s bachelor friends at work do not get to come home and enjoy a
meal cooked by the newly wed bride, with one of them ogling at her
with evil intentions.
6. Since the Hero and Heroine get married very early in the movie, they
should have known that something was going to go wrong and should have
taken due care.
5. The movie is called "Bombay" but we don`t get to see even one overflowing
electric train. (It is like Ice station Zebra with no Zebras around)
4. Hero/Heroine do more...
BANNED CHILDREN'S BOOKSDad's New Wife Timothy Pop! Goes the Hamster...and Other Great Microwave Games How to Become the Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School Safe Sex and the Zip-Lock Bag Testing Homemade Parachutes With Nothing At All But Your Household Pets Egghead - and Other Things Mrs. Dumpty Gave Humpty The Complete Set Of "Mother Got Goosed" Nursery Rhymes Peter Rabbit's Frisky Adventures The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad The Tickling Babysitter Babar Meets the Taxidermist Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Mom's Purse The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will Let's Draw Betty and Veronica Without Their Clothes On The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead How to Insert Sharp Objects into Your Ear When is Later? The Beanie Babies and the Putrid more...
The already retired Martina Hingis has been inexplicably banned for two years for testing positive for cocaine. That'll show her. Officials learned of her cocaine problem after she snorted the service line.