Sharp Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A political activist named Dave was just arriving in Hell, and was
    told he had a choice to make. He could go to Capitalist Hell or to
    Communist Hell.
    Naturally, Dave wanted to compare the two, so he wandered over to
    Capitalist Hell. There outside the door was Rockerfeller, looking bored.
    "What's it like in there?" asked Dave. "Well," he replied, "In
    Capitalist Hell, they flay you alive, boil you in oil, chain you to a
    rock and let a vulture tear your liver out, and cut you up into small
    pieces with sharp knives."
    "That's terrible!!" gasped Dave. "I'm going to check out Communist
    Hell!" He went over to Communist Hell, where he discovered a huge line
    of people waiting to get in; the line circled around the lobby seven
    times before receding off into the horizon. Dave pushed his way through
    to the head of the line, where he found Karl Marx busily signing people
    in. Dave asked Karl more...

    He's as sharp as a beach ball.

    Sindhis are known both for their sharp practices as well as for their clannishness: they drive hard bargains but also help fellow Sindhis to find employment.

    A Sindhi businessman on a visit to Hong Kong wanted to have a silk suit made and went to a Sindhi tailor's shop at the airport, which advertised suits made to measure in a couple of hours.

    The visiting businessman selected the material and asked how much it cost.

    The tailor replied:' Sir, seeing you are a fellow Sindhi I will offer you a special price. A suit of this material costs 200 Hong Kong dollars, as you can see clearly marked on the label. I charge everyone else two hundred dollars but not a fellow Sindhi. I won't ask for 190 dollars not even 180 dollars. For you it will be 170 dollars, not a cent more.'

    'Why should you lose money on me just because I happen to be a fellow Sindhi,' replied the visitor.' So what should I offer for this suit? Seventy dollars? That I would to a more...

    The following comments are those of Bill Hall who is a syndicated humor columnist for the Lewiston Morning Tribune in Lewiston, Idaho. Consider bathing, for instance. As a general rule, middle-aged women take baths at night. The men shower each morning. The men like to go to bed dirty and go to work clean. Women prefer to go to bed clean and to work dirty. That's why men usually take their coffee breaks with other men. Women read more boring magazines than men. They read silly, pedestrian magazines filled with articles on making quilts, turning bleach bottles into stunning centerpieces, the use of orange eyeshadow and how to get men to shower before going to bed instead of before going to work. Men read sensible, intellectual journals on how to catch fish and kill little animals. When a man cooks, he keeps his knives sharp. Most female cooks don't. Indeed, most female cooks don't even own a decent kitchen knife, let alone a sharp one. Female cooks offer the excuse that they would cut more...

    They say she has a sharp tongue. Yes, she can slice bread with it.

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