Bagpipe Jokes / Recent Jokes
An accordion is a bagpipe with pleats. Q: What is the definition of an optimist? A: An accordion player with a pager. Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion? A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds. Q: What do accordion players use as a contraceptive? A: Their personalities. Q: What's the range of an accordion? A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm! Q: What's a gentleman? A: Somebody who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn't. Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion? A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion. Q: What's the difference between an accordion player and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathisers. Q: What's the definition of perfect pitch? A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides. Q: What's the difference between an accordion and a concertina? A: The accordion takes longer to burn. Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument? A: Hide it in an accordion case. Q: What's an accordion good for? A: more...
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: To get away from the noise.
Q: What`s the only thing worse than a bagpiper?
A: Good question. We`re still trying to find out too.
Bagpipes (noun) - I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never equaled the purity of sound achieved by the pig. -Alfred Hitchcock
Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A. Shoot one.
Q. What`s the definition of a minor second?
A. Two bagpipes playing in unison.
Q. What`s the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.
Q. What`s the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
A. He can throw a set into the middle of more...
Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up an bagpipe.
Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline
Q. What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?
A. You can tune the lawnmower, and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.
Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.
Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus? A. The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you have been hallucinating.