"Bagpipe jokes" joke

Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: To get away from the noise.

Q: What`s the only thing worse than a bagpiper?
A: Good question. We`re still trying to find out too.

Bagpipes (noun) - I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never equaled the purity of sound achieved by the pig. -Alfred Hitchcock

Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A. Shoot one.

Q. What`s the definition of a minor second?
A. Two bagpipes playing in unison.

Q. What`s the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.

Q. What`s the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.

Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A. You don`t have to be very good to get people`s attention.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get away from the bagpipe recital.

Q. What`s the difference between the Great Highland and Northumbrian bagpipes?
A. The GHB burns longer [but the Northumbrian burns hotter]

Q. What do you call bagpiper with half a brain?
A. Gifted.

Q. What`s the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?
A. You can tune the lawnmower, and the owner`s neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don`t return it.

Q. How many bagpipers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five, one to handle the bulb and the other four to contemplate how Bill Livingston would have done it.

Q. How many bagpipers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. 5-one to do it, and four to criticize his fingering style.

Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus?
A. The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you have been hallucinating.

Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe?
A. Add vibrato.

Q. How many bagpipers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five. One to handle the bulb, the other four to tell him how much better they could have done it.

Q. What`s the definition of a gentleman?
A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn`t.

Q. Why do bagpipers l