Aol Jokes / Recent Jokes
My computer broke down.
It crashed and burned!
And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy...
And keep it off my mind.
It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!! So I went to Wal-Mart, and got on their pc.
The cashier in electronics was staring at me.
But I didn't care. I had to get on line! Check my mail, and see what buddies I can find.
I drew a crowd as I began to cry.
I couldn't find the password no matter how hard I tried! I need my AOL!! I got to have my fix!!
Go to my favorite places, check out some cool pics.
The cashier called Security! I heard her whisper low, "We have ourselves a Psycho here and she has got to go!"
Security rushed over. Not long did he stall.
Obviously he has never suffered from AOL withdrawal. He slapped cuffs on my wrists and threw me out the door!
Then he looked at me and said, more...
You Might Be Addicted to AOL if........ Tech Support calls "You" for help...... Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL..... You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other...... You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out"..... you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's..... you've ever typed "drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone"..... you have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it..... you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences..... you begin to say heh heh heh instead of laughing..... when someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"..... you sneak away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep...... you know more about your AOL friends daily routines than you do your own family's...... you lie to others about your time on-line and when they more...
Exclusive news! A team of hackers managed to break into Santa's intranet this week and checked his database (twice) for the gifts he has in store for the computer industry's newsmakers, movers, and shakers. They leaked the list to CNET, and in the interests of public information, we're passing it on to you:
10. Marc Andreessen, Netscape: his own not-quite-evil empire.
9. Louis Rosetto, "Wired": a low-interest loan.
8. Trip Hawkins, 3DO: Nintendo 64.
7. Kim Polese, Marimba: subscriptions to every magazine whose cover she graced in 1996.
6. Larry Ellison, Oracle: Redmond.
5. Al Gore, U. S. government: An AOL account. And a clue.
4. Andy Grove, Intel: Prozac for his paranoia.
3. Phil Zimmermann, PGP: Get Out of Jail Free card.
2. Steve Case, AOL: $19. 95 from everyone in the world.
1. Bill Gates, Microsoft: peace on earth and good will toward Microsoft.
AOL reminds me of an old girlfriend. Just when I think the connection has been established, it suddenly says, "Goodbye."