Ants Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot.So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle.
Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?"
Said the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."
It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants' star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the Elephants' left back came lumbering towards him.
The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee stopped the game. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?" The elephant replied, "Well, I didn't mean to kill him -- I was just trying to trip him up."
It was the little boy's first time on an airplane. He was so excited. When the airplane engines started, the little boy closed his eyes and counted to 100.
Then he opened his eyes and peered outside. Pointing, he said to the woman next to him, "See those tiny people down there? They are just like ants!"
The woman looked at what he was pointing and remarked, "They are ants. We haven't left the ground yet."
Idiot # 1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away.
Here's your sign lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~
Idiot # 2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out that the
chopper was going in on the emergency locator beacon which more...
Idiot #1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency Room right away.
Idiot #2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, they were surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer employed more...
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Tell me! !
Tell me, is it going in?? yeah... is it hurting??
ooh yeah... ouch it's hurting!!!
ok i'll put it in slowly..
still hurting???
yeah.. then let's try the other shoe madam!!!!!!!!
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Baby doll! !!
A man called his 4th wife-Baby doll.
3rd wife-china doll.
2nd wife-barbie doll &
1st wife.......
Guess what??????
"PANADOL"!!!!!!!
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GOD ASKED!!!!!
God asked a civil engineer, what mistake did i make in designing a woman????
engineer says, Sir the entertainment area is very
close to the DRAINAGE!!!
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Different Voices!!!!!
Different types of voices during SEX.
ENGLISH: oh yes oh yess!
AMERICAN: yeah baby, yeah!
SRI more...